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Writing Samples
Band 6.5

The graph below shows the per capita consumption of butter and margarine in the United States between 1980 and 2020. Summarize the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.

The graph below shows the per capita consumption of butter and margarine in the United States between 1980 and 2020. Summarize the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.
The line graph illustrates the amount of
butter
Use synonyms
 and
margarine
Use synonyms
are
Verb problem
apply
show examples
consumed
by
Change preposition
apply
show examples
per capita
of
Change preposition
by
show examples
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
Americans
in
Change preposition
apply
show examples
between 1980 to 2020. The data
presents
Wrong verb form
is presented
show examples
 in
pound
Fix the agreement mistake
pounds
show examples
.
Overall
Linking Words
,
it is clear that
Linking Words
 the
consumption
Use synonyms
 of
margarine
Use synonyms
 is in
decreasing
Correct article usage
a decreasing
show examples
 trend
while
Linking Words
butter
Use synonyms
consumption
Use synonyms
 is in
increasing
Correct article usage
an increasing
show examples
pattern
Check wording
trend
show examples
. At the beginning, the Americans
are
Verb problem
apply
show examples
used more than 10
pounds
Use synonyms
 of
margarine
Use synonyms
 per person ,
the
Correct word choice
and the
show examples
consumption
Use synonyms
is
Verb problem
apply
show examples
reduced gradually
Correct word order
gradually reduced
show examples
 in 1990 which is 8
pounds
Use synonyms
. In the late
2000
Correct your spelling
2000s
, the
consumption
Use synonyms
 of both
butter
Use synonyms
 and
margarine
Use synonyms
were
Correct subject-verb agreement
was
show examples
 similar
which
Punctuation problem
, which
show examples
 accounted for almost 5
pounds
Use synonyms
 per
people
Fix the agreement mistake
person
show examples
. By 2020, the usage of
margarine
Use synonyms
is
Verb problem
apply
show examples
reached
it
Correct pronoun usage
its
show examples
 lowest
which
Punctuation problem
, which
show examples
 is 2
pounds
Use synonyms
. The usage of
butter
Use synonyms
 is half of the
margarine
Use synonyms
which
Punctuation problem
, which
show examples
 is almost 5
pounds
Use synonyms
 in the initial period. Its
consumption
Use synonyms
 reduced slightly to 4
pounds
Use synonyms
 before it
is
Wrong verb form
was
show examples
 gradually increased and surpassed
margarine
Use synonyms
consumption
Use synonyms
 in early 2010. By the end of the period, the United States
is
Verb problem
apply
show examples
used more
butter
Use synonyms
compare
Wrong verb form
compared
show examples
 to
margarine
Use synonyms
 and reached
it
Correct pronoun usage
its
show examples
 highest amount
which
Punctuation problem
, which
show examples
 is 6
pounds
Use synonyms
 per person.

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Vocabulary: Replace the words butter, margarine, consumption, pounds with synonyms.
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Vocabulary: The word "amount" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "reached" was used 2 times.
▼
Vocabulary: The word "reduced" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "almost" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "gradually" was used 2 times.
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