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Writing Samples
Band 7

Some people say that playing computer games is bad for children in every aspects. Others say that playing computer games can have positive effects on the way children develop. Discuss both views and give your opinion.

Some people argue that playing
computer
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games
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 has negative effects on
children
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 in every aspect,
while
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 others believe that
such
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games
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 can contribute positively to their development.
This
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 essay will discuss both perspectives before presenting my own opinion. On one hand, those who view
computer
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games
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 as harmful often point to their potential physical and psychological drawbacks. Excessive screen time is associated with a sedentary lifestyle, which can lead to obesity and related health problems in
children
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.
Additionally
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, many popular
games
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 contain violent content, which critics claim can lead to increased aggression, desensitisation to violence, and impaired social behaviour.
Moreover
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,
children
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 who spend long hours gaming may neglect their studies, family responsibilities, and social relationships, leading to poor academic performance and isolation.
On the other hand
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, proponents argue that
computer
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games
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 can offer several educational and cognitive benefits.
For example
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, strategy and puzzle
games
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 help
children
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 develop problem-solving, critical thinking, and decision-making skills. Multiplayer
games
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 often require teamwork and communication, which can enhance social skills, particularly in an online environment.
Furthermore
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, many educational
games
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 are designed specifically to reinforce learning in subjects
such
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 as maths, science, and language, making them a valuable supplement to traditional education when used in moderation. In my opinion,
computer
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games
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 are not inherently bad for
children
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. The key lies in balance and content selection. If parents and educators guide
children
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 in choosing age-appropriate and educational
games
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 and ensure that gaming time does not interfere with physical activity, homework, or sleep, the benefits can outweigh the drawbacks. Like most forms of entertainment,
computer
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games
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 can be either beneficial or harmful depending on how they are used. In conclusion ,
while
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,
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apply
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 there are valid concerns about the negative impact of
computer
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games
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, especially when used excessively, there is
also
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 strong evidence that they can support
children
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’s development in meaningful ways. A balanced and supervised approach is essential to ensure
children
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 reap the benefits
while
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 avoiding potential harms.

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coherence and cohesion
Make sure each paragraph has a clear main idea and supports it with examples.
task achievement
Use more specific examples to support your points in each argument.
coherence and cohesion
Improve the variety of linking words to connect ideas smoothly.
content
The essay presents a balanced view by discussing both sides of the argument.
structure
The essay has a clear introduction and conclusion that summarize the main points well.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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