Today more people are overweight than ever before. What in your opinion are the primary causes of this? What are the main effects of this epidemic? Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

The number of overweight
people
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has risen rapidly , and
this
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trend is being witnessed nowadays.
This
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essay will discuss the main reasons for
this
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epidemic and
then
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describe the possible effects of the problem.
To begin
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with, I believe that an inactive lifestyle and some illnesses are behind obesity. Today ,more and more
people
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rely on cars
instead
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of walking,
in addition
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spending lots of time sitting at the desk in work,
then
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there is no time to make a meal so the better option will be either fast food or processed meals, which are often high in fat , sugar,and calories.
This
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results in burning fewer calories and gaining
weight
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.
Moreover
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, the problem is not always because
people
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are lazy. Some
people
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have illnesses that make them gain
weight
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.
Also
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, some medicines can cause
weight
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gain.
For instance
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,
people
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who take medicine for depression or other
health
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problems may gain
weight
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even though they try to eat well and stay active.
Furthermore
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, being obese is really hard ,which can affect your future by causing
health
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issues like heart attacks or diabetes and feel unconfident .
First,
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fat
people
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suffer from problems with low heart rates that may cost their lives ,or it might be less than that ,which basically makes it harder to control their
weight
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as they are not able to exercise.
Secondly
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,
this
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illness causes insecurity and isolation.
People
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who are overweight may feel embarrassed or shy about their bodies, especially in public or social situations.
This
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can make them avoid going outside and observing the world,which ,over time ,
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isolation can lead to sadness or even depression. In conclusion, having looked into
this
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issue,
it is clear that
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an inactive lifestyle and some
health
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conditions are the main reasons why it is growing bigger than normal and can cause severe
health
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problems. To tackle
this
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issue,
people
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need to consider starting a healthier lifestyle.

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task achievement
Try to provide more specific examples to support your points. For example, mention specific studies or statistics about obesity.
coherence cohesion
Use clearer topic sentences for each paragraph to show the main idea more clearly.
coherence cohesion
Make sure to check for minor grammar mistakes such as missing articles and conjunctions.
coherence cohesion
Your essay has a clear structure with an introduction, main points, and a conclusion.
task achievement
You have addressed both causes and effects, which is important for the task.

Your opinion

Don’t put your opinion unless you are asked to give it.

If the question asks what you think, you MUST give your opinion to get a good score.

Don’t leave your opinion until the conclusion.

Here are examples of instructions that require you to give your opinion:

...do you agree or disagree?...do you think...?...your opinion...?

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