IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 4

Some people think that physical strength is important for success in sport, while other people think that mental strength is more important. Discuss both views and give your own opinion.

In the
world
Add a comma
world,
show examples
 many
says
Correct subject-verb agreement
say
show examples
 that
physcal
Correct your spelling
physical strength
strengh
Use synonyms
 is important to success in
sports
Use synonyms
,
although
Linking Words
 it's true that some of them need
a
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
physical
Use synonyms
strengh
Correct your spelling
strength
but
Punctuation problem
, but
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,
Punctuation problem
apply
show examples
 there
is
Correct subject-verb agreement
are
show examples
a
Correct article usage
some
show examples
sports
Use synonyms
 which need mental
Use synonyms
strengh
Correct your spelling
strength
 more. The importance of physical
strengh
Use synonyms
 is huge in many
sports
Use synonyms
such
Linking Words
 like, football, basketball, and runnig, players in these type of
sports
Use synonyms
 can't preform good if they are week physcally they strong
strengh
Use synonyms
 in the
field
Use synonyms
 because, they may be tired or worse got an injury that might end his career as,
athlete
Use synonyms
 the danger of some injuries are nightmares for some of
athlete
Use synonyms
 because, some of them can threten their souls
although
Linking Words
 , these injuries are rare but, those who end the
athlete
Use synonyms
 aren't,
in addition
Linking Words
,
athlete
Use synonyms
 must have thier schdeule at the gym so they bullid a muscels help play their
sports
Use synonyms
.
Linking Words
Also
Add a comma
Also,
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 mental
Use synonyms
strengh
Correct your spelling
strength
 is important in all
sports
Use synonyms
, it's hard that athletes play in the
field
Use synonyms
while
Linking Words
thei
Correct your spelling
their
 brains are in
anthor
Correct your spelling
another
 world.
working
Fix capitalization
Working
show examples
 in mental
Use synonyms
strengh
Correct your spelling
strength
are
Correct subject-verb agreement
is
show examples
 the job of
coches
Correct your spelling
coaches
, they must be sure that the
athlete
Use synonyms
 who
enter
Correct subject-verb agreement
enters
show examples
 the
field
Use synonyms
 is fully ready mentally to perform the best of what he/she can
Linking Words
Punctuation problem
. also
show examples
also
Fix capitalization
Also
show examples
, in
jernal
Correct your spelling
a
 no
Punctuation problem
, body
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body
Use the right word
nobody
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 can do
his
Correct pronoun usage
their
show examples
 work good
Linking Words
while
Change preposition
if
show examples
 he not ready mentally
,
Punctuation problem
.
show examples
what
Fix capitalization
What
show examples
 about athletes which there perform dwmand on their mental
Use synonyms
strengh
Correct your spelling
strength
.
Change the punctuation
?
show examples
in
Fix capitalization
In
show examples
coclusion
Correct your spelling
conclusion
, both are important because they have the strongest
affect
Use the right word
effect
show examples
 on
athlete
Use synonyms
so
Rephrase
apply
show examples
,
he
Correct pronoun usage
apply
show examples
/
she
Correct pronoun usage
they
show examples
 must be fully ready mentally and
strenghly
Correct your spelling
strong
 to
preform
Use the right word
perform
show examples
 good
at
Change preposition
in
show examples
 the
field
Use synonyms
 and achieve
achievements
Check wording
success
show examples
 in their career.

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coherence and cohesion
Improve the organization of your essay. Make sure each paragraph has a clear main idea and supports it with examples.
language
Use correct spelling and grammar. Wrong words can confuse your readers, like 'strengh' instead of 'strength'.
task achievement
Add more relevant examples to support your points. For instance, mention specific athletes known for mental strength.
task achievement
You discussed both physical and mental strength, showing a balanced view.
task achievement
You made some good points about the importance of mental preparation in sports.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »- a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Topic Vocabulary:
  • physical conditioning
  • athleticism
  • physical training
  • muscle strength
  • mental resilience
  • psychological preparedness
  • mental toughness
  • confidence
  • precision
  • focus
  • mental strategies
  • mental fortitude
  • brute strength
What to do next:
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