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Writing Samples
Band 5.5

Many students find it difficult to focus or pay attention at school nowadays. What are the reason for this? What can be done to solve the problem.

Nowadays, almost all pupils are facing the problem of paying attention or focusing at
school
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.
This
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 issue occurs
due to
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 the overuse of technology and a lack of meditation in a daily routine. So, to tackle these problems, making the study curriculum more practical and digitalization in learning. On the one hand,
students
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 find it more difficult to concentrate or pay attention because there is overuse and overreliance on technology, which can lead to lower discipline and focus in
school
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 studies.
Moreover
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, there is a lack of meditation exercises in a daily routine.
This
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 exercise can improve mental power, which plays a vital role in
school
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 for
students
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.
For example
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, one researcher has published that those
students
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 who use technology wisely do not lose focus on their studies and give their best in examinations.
On the other hand
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, pupils find it hard to concentrate or be attentive in
school
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. To overcome these issues,
school
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 should restructure their course curriculum in
such
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 a way that there is more practical than theoretical.
As a result
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,
students
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 will have only written knowledge, not real-life practical
.
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experience.
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Furthermore
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,
school
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 authorities must digitalise their learning pattern because it will create curiosity to learn something new in digital form among
students
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.
For instance
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, making the
school
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 courses practical and technical in a simpler way can attract more attention and concentration from pupils. In conclusion, there are issues to be more focused and concentrated and to overcome these problems, there has to be a practical class in
school
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along with
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 digitalisation
while
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 learning any courses.

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coherence and cohesion
Make sure every paragraph has a clear main idea. It helps the reader understand your points better.
task achievement
Use more specific examples to support your ideas, as this makes your argument stronger.
coherence and cohesion
Try to connect your ideas with transitional words or phrases to improve flow.
task achievement
The introduction clearly states the problem and the proposed solutions, which is good for task response.
coherence and cohesion
The conclusion effectively summarizes the main points, providing a strong end to the essay.

Use a variety of complex and simple sentences

You should use complex sentences in your writing, but it does not mean that you should try to make all of our sentences complex.

‘Complex’ sentences are not actually very complex; they are just two or more simple sentences put together. Putting them together makes the essay more coherent and cohesive.

Examples:

I really want to study but I’m too tired.

I wore a warm coat because the weather was cold.

If action is not taken soon on climate change, global warming will get worse.

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • Attention span
  • Distraction
  • Sleep hygiene
  • Mental health support
  • Interactive learning
  • Experiential learning
  • Project-based learning
  • Academic pressures
  • Stress management
  • Healthy eating habits
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