IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 4.5

Some people believe that professionals such as doctors at engineers should be required to work in country where they did their training others believe they should be free to work in another country if they wish discuss both of these views and give your own opinion

Nowadays, many students move to different
counties
Use the right word
countries
show examples
 to continue their
further
Linking Words
 education, and to be a professional in the future,
such
Linking Words
 as being a doctor or an engineer.
While
Linking Words
 some
people
Use synonyms
 argued that
experts
Use synonyms
 should stay and
work
Use synonyms
 in the
country
Use synonyms
they
Rephrase
where they
show examples
 received their
study
Fix the agreement mistake
studies
show examples
, others believed that they should have the freedom
of working
Change preposition
to work
show examples
 wherever they choose. There are several reasons for
this
Linking Words
 situation
,
Punctuation problem
.
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 I think professionals can
work
Use synonyms
 anywhere
instead
Linking Words
 of working in one
country
Use synonyms
 only. Both reasons and my view are elaborated
further
Linking Words
. On the one hand, some argue that
experts
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 should only
work
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 in the
country
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they
Rephrase
where they
show examples
 studied
in
Change preposition
apply
show examples
, because the
country
Use synonyms
 helps with their training. In some cases, the government heavily supports fields like
:
Punctuation problem
apply
show examples
 medicine and engineering, by offering them low fees or scholarships. So, some
people
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 think
its
Use the right word
it's
show examples
 unfair that students
after
Punctuation problem
, after
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 finishing their
further
Linking Words
 education, leave and don’t
work
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 in
Linking Words
this
Correct determiner usage
the
show examples
country
Use synonyms
 that offered everything they need to complete their education, and lead them to be a professional.
Therefore
Linking Words
, requiring
graduate
Fix the agreement mistake
graduates
show examples
 to
work
Use synonyms
 in the same county will lead to developing and investing
the
Change preposition
in the
show examples
country
Use synonyms
.
On the other hand
Linking Words
, others believed that everyone has the right to choose where they
work
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. Especially students
that
Correct pronoun usage
who
show examples
 came to study abroad from a scholarship that their
country
Use synonyms
 provided to them. As long as the university is accredited,
experts
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 have the right to
work
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 wherever they want, and to choose the best opportunity,
such
Linking Words
 as
better
Correct article usage
a better
show examples
 salary , and
a
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
comfortable working conditions.
Its
Use the right word
It's
show examples
 unfair to restrict someone’s decision and
forcing
Wrong verb form
force
show examples
 them to
work
Use synonyms
 in the same
country
Use synonyms
 he/she studied in, but rather they can move to a different
country
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 and learn new skills.
Overall
Linking Words
, some
people
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 think professionals should stay in the
country
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 where they
trained
Verb problem
were trained
show examples
,
while
Linking Words
 others believe they should have the right to choose. I believe that
experts
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 can
work
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 wherever they want, because freedom is important, in despite of where they studied, countries should encourage
people
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 to stay in the
country
Use synonyms
they
Rephrase
where they
show examples
 studied, not forcing them.

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task achievement
Make sure to clearly state your opinion in the introduction and conclusion. This helps the reader understand your perspective easily.
coherence and cohesion
Use paragraphs to separate your ideas more clearly. Each paragraph should focus on a single point, making it easier to follow your argument.
task achievement
Try to include more specific examples to support your points. This can make your arguments stronger and more convincing.
task achievement
You have presented both sides of the argument clearly, which is important for this type of essay.
coherence and cohesion
Your introduction gives a good overview of the topic, leading the reader into the discussion well.

Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

  • Summary
  • Restatement of thesis
  • Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

  • In conclusion
  • To conclude
  • To summarize
  • Finally
  • In a nutshell
  • In general

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • professionals
  • doctors
  • engineers
  • required
  • training
  • home country
  • cultural
  • linguistic
  • advantages
  • economic impact
  • free
  • another country
  • globalization
  • international collaboration
  • improving
  • skills
  • knowledge
  • experience
  • opinion
What to do next:
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