Some people say that music is a good way of bringing people of different cultures and ages together. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this opinion?

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Some
people
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believe that
music
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is a better way to connect
people
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all around the world. Some bands have a lot of popularity and their
songs
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have an emotional connection with the
people
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.
Therefore
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,I completely agree that because of
music
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people
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can come together and create a fanbase for their
favourite
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singer.
Firstly
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,
music
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is related to emotion.All over the world,
people
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have sad stories or
love
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stories,which is why they feel connected to
songs
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without having cultural and age similarities.
In other words
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,sad
songs
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or
love
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songs
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can make
people
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emotional
due to
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this
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reason they feel connected to those
songs
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as well as
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singers
Rephrase
apply
show examples
also
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.
For instance
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,Taylor Swift has a great fanbase because her
songs
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mainly focus on emotion and
love
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, which is why
people
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can feel a connection.
Secondly
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,
music
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can bring
people
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from different countries and different cultures together because of the same song taste.
Songs
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have a variety like pop
songs
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,band
songs
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love
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songs
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etc
due to
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the fact that
people
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create fan groups without having the same culture.
Additionally
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,they meet each other and enjoy their
favourite
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singer's live concert,which is why they create a brotherhood.
For example
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,Nowadays a Korean band named BTS is very popular and
people
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around the world create a fanbase which is called ARMY.They meet on a regular basis and enjoy their
favourite
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band concert. In conclusion,emotional attachment and
favourite
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genre
songs
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have a great impact on bringing
people
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around the globe having no cultural similarities and have a language barrier.
Music
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is the strong path to building a worldwide community.
Submitted by mokaddamul on

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task achievement
To improve in task response, ensure that your introduction clearly outlines your viewpoint and that your conclusion not only summarises your essay but also reinforces your stance on the topic.
task achievement
Enhance the development of your ideas with more diverse examples and deeper analysis. While generalizations help in establishing a point, unique observations and insights can provide a more nuanced understanding of the topic.
task achievement
Work on the clarity of your sentences by focusing on sentence structure and punctuation. Proper use helps in expressing your ideas more clearly, contributing to a better task response.
coherence cohesion
Increase the coherence of your essay by ensuring logical flow between paragraphs. Using transitional phrases can help connect ideas more smoothly and enhance the reader's understanding.
coherence cohesion
Consider a more varied vocabulary and sentence structure to make your writing more engaging and to better demonstrate your linguistic capabilities.
coherence cohesion
Be mindful of maintaining a formal tone throughout your essay. Avoid using informal language or slang, as this can detract from the overall coherence and cohesion.
Topic Vocabulary:
  • universal language
  • evoke
  • connect
  • diverse audiences
  • cultural exchange
  • generational gaps
  • shared experiences
  • unifying force
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