Some people say that music is a good way of bringing people of different cultures and ages together. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this opinion?

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Some

people

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believe that

music

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is a better way to connect

people

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all around the world. Some bands have a lot of popularity and their

songs

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have an emotional connection with the

people

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Therefore

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,I completely agree that because of

music

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people

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can come together and create a fanbase for their

favourite

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singer.

Firstly

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music

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is related to emotion.All over the world,

people

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have sad stories or

love

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stories,which is why they feel connected to

songs

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without having cultural and age similarities.

In other words

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,sad

songs

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love

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songs

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can make

people

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emotional

due to

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this

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reason they feel connected to those

songs

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as well as

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singers

Rephrase

apply

show examples

also

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For instance

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,Taylor Swift has a great fanbase because her

songs

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mainly focus on emotion and

love

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, which is why

people

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can feel a connection.

Secondly

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music

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can bring

people

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from different countries and different cultures together because of the same song taste.

Songs

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have a variety like pop

songs

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,band

songs

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love

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songs

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etc

due to

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the fact that

people

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create fan groups without having the same culture.

Additionally

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,they meet each other and enjoy their

favourite

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singer's live concert,which is why they create a brotherhood.

For example

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,Nowadays a Korean band named BTS is very popular and

people

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around the world create a fanbase which is called ARMY.They meet on a regular basis and enjoy their

favourite

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band concert. In conclusion,emotional attachment and

favourite

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genre

songs

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have a great impact on bringing

people

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around the globe having no cultural similarities and have a language barrier.

Music

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is the strong path to building a worldwide community.

mokaddamulTue Mar 05 2024

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task achievement

To improve in task response, ensure that your introduction clearly outlines your viewpoint and that your conclusion not only summarises your essay but also reinforces your stance on the topic.

task achievement

Enhance the development of your ideas with more diverse examples and deeper analysis. While generalizations help in establishing a point, unique observations and insights can provide a more nuanced understanding of the topic.

task achievement

Work on the clarity of your sentences by focusing on sentence structure and punctuation. Proper use helps in expressing your ideas more clearly, contributing to a better task response.

coherence cohesion

Increase the coherence of your essay by ensuring logical flow between paragraphs. Using transitional phrases can help connect ideas more smoothly and enhance the reader's understanding.

coherence cohesion

Consider a more varied vocabulary and sentence structure to make your writing more engaging and to better demonstrate your linguistic capabilities.

coherence cohesion

Be mindful of maintaining a formal tone throughout your essay. Avoid using informal language or slang, as this can detract from the overall coherence and cohesion.

11
Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
5
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
1
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 4.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 8.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 7.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

4 paragraphs

251 words

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Topic Vocabulary:

universal language
evoke
connect
diverse audiences
cultural exchange
generational gaps
shared experiences
unifying force

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Some people say that music is a good way of bringing people of different cultures and ages together. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this opinion?

Some people think that success in life comes from hard work and determination while others think that there are more important factors such as money and appearance. Discuss both view and give your opinion.

Some people think that the news channels and media nowadays have sensationalised and influenced people’s lives in negative ways. Others disagree and say that it is also positive. Discuss both views and give your opinion.

In some developing countries it is difficult to recruit teachers to work in remote and rural areas and this can have a serious impact on education in these regions. Why do many teachers not want to work in these areas? What can be done to encourage teachers to take up posts in these regions?

Nowadays, a growing number of people with health problems are trying alternative medicines and treatments instead of visiting their usual doctor. Do you think this is a positive or negative development?

some countries spend a lot of money to make bicycle usage easier. why is this? is this best solution to traffic congestion.