IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 4.5

Wheather people should have competition life with others or a cooperative

this
Linking Words
 is Have you ever thought is having a competition in your daily
life
Use synonyms
 makes a great impact on yourself and
Use synonyms
people
Correct article usage
the people
show examples
 around you? In
this
Linking Words
essay
Punctuation problem
essay,
show examples
 I'll argue about
weather
Use the right word
whether
show examples
 cooperating with your
collegues
Correct your spelling
colleagues
 or being
competition
Replace the word
competitive
show examples
 is better
either
Correct word choice
apply
show examples
in school ,
work
Change preposition
at work
show examples
 , or in your daily
life
Use synonyms
. Intially, being extra competition in your daily
life
Use synonyms
 which includes your work , school may look a good thing from your eyes in the other hand you dont know
people
Use synonyms
 feeling about it yes it make the
people
Use synonyms
 around give 100 percent of their energy which may make the work better but that will lead the to exhaustion which evantually will lead to more terriable things.
Moreover
Linking Words
, cooperating with your
collegues
Correct your spelling
colleagues
 can seem a bit dull and boring for some individuals
but
Punctuation problem
, but
show examples
 there
are
Verb problem
is are
show examples
alot
Correct your spelling
lot
 of great impact from it
Linking Words
for
Punctuation problem
, for
show examples
 instance
staying
Punctuation problem
, staying
show examples
 away from trouble , having more energy throughout the day rather than putting it all
for
Change preposition
into
show examples
 some silly
Use synonyms
competion
Correct your spelling
competition
 I
belive
Use the right word
believe
show examples
,
Punctuation problem
apply
show examples
that cooperating is the safest
Linking Words
also
Correct word choice
and also
show examples
 a better side to take. Even though sometimes it would be fun having some
Use synonyms
competion
Correct your spelling
competition
as
Punctuation problem
, as
show examples
 the
cambridge
Fix capitalization
Cambridge
show examples
 article once wrote that
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
human
Fix the agreement mistake
humans
show examples
 would give 200
percent
Use the right word
per cent
show examples
 of
his
Correct pronoun usage
their
show examples
enrgy
Correct your spelling
energy
 if he was working daily in a
Use synonyms
competion
Correct your spelling
competitive
enviroment
Correct your spelling
environment
. In a nutshell,
people
Use synonyms
 have their own ways to live
there
Use the right word
their
show examples
life
Use synonyms
either
Punctuation problem
, either
show examples
 living it as a
Use synonyms
competion
Correct your spelling
competition
 or cooperating in it
Punctuation problem
. we
show examples
we
Fix capitalization
We
show examples
 are not the
one
Fix the agreement mistake
ones
show examples
 to decide it for them
Punctuation problem
, eventhough
show examples
eventhough
Correct your spelling
even though
 sometimes we want them to change one to another.

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task achievement
Your introduction needs to clearly state your position on whether competition or cooperation is better. Make it more direct to help the reader understand your point of view from the start.
coherence cohesion
Try to organize your paragraphs better. Each paragraph should focus on one main idea. This will help the reader follow your argument more easily.
coherence cohesion
Check your spelling and grammar. For example, 'weather' should be 'whether'. Small mistakes can affect your score.
task achievement
Use more examples to support your points. Instead of saying that competition can lead to exhaustion, you could tell a quick story or use a common example to illustrate this.
content
You raised interesting points about the impacts of competition and cooperation.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »- a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

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