Some people think that schools should stop teaching students by using books, because students find them boring and that children can learn from films, TV, video games and computers instead. To what extent do you agree?

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Some individuals believe that teaching by using books should be abandoned in schools since they are not attractive based on students’ ideas, and it is better they learn by video content and electronic

devices

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This

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essay will discuss why I as far agree with

this

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opinion.

Firstly

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, teaching by computers can be more contributing than traditional methods. More precisely, thanks to the development of e-learning software, teachers can engage students in the teaching process. My uncle as a literature teacher always asks his students to score the writing of their classmates in Shad which is an Iranian e-learning application.

Secondly

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, video content can affect photographic

memory

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. So, they can be more efficient than text because

according to

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the studies engaging photographic

memory

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in a learning process can lead to deep learning. Even though we do not check the map, we can find the path to our home,

for instance

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, which is because of our photographic

memory

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On the other hand

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, a few people claim that computers and other electronic

devices

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are not healthy for children. They explain that these modern tools can lead to eyesight problems or other future diseases.

In addition

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, some individuals believe that children using computers and mobiles too much are more aggressive than others.

However

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although

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all of these

reasonings

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reasons

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are valid, all problems can be solved by restricting the time of using electronic

devices

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for children. In conclusion, despite the effects of using video content and electronic

devices

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on children’s

behaviors

Change the spelling

behaviours

show examples

and health, I think teaching by them is more suitable than old methods because they are more contributing and can engage photographic

memory

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in the learning process.

abbas75rSat Apr 26 2025

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Coherence and Cohesion

Work on linking your ideas more clearly. Transition words can help guide the reader through your argument. For example, use phrases like 'moreover,' 'however,' and 'on the other hand' to show the relationship between points.

Task Achievement

Ensure each main point is fully developed and explained. While you have provided some examples, adding further detail or explanation can strengthen your arguments and make them more convincing.

Task Achievement

Your introduction could more clearly outline what your essay will cover. A brief mention of both sides of the argument and your position could improve it.

Task Achievement

You have made a solid attempt to engage with both sides of the argument, showing understanding of the topic.

Task Achievement

Your use of examples, such as the literature teacher using an e-learning application, helps to illustrate your points effectively.

Coherence and Cohesion

The conclusion neatly summarizes your main points, reaffirming your opinion clearly.

Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

Examples make your writing easier to understand by illustrating points more effectively.

Examples, if used properly, not only help you get higher marks for ‘Task Response’ but also for ‘Coherence’.

When giving examples it is best to put them after your main idea or topic sentence. They can be used in the middle of supporting sentences or they can be used to start a new sentence. There is no rule for where exactly to give examples in essays, logically they would come after your main idea/topic sentence or just after a supporting sentence.

Linking words for giving examples:

for example
for instance
to illustrate this
to give a clear example
such as
namely
to illustrate
take, for example

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9
Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
2
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
2
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 7.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 7.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 6.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

4 paragraphs

273 words

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Some people think that schools should stop teaching students by using books, because students find them boring and that children can learn from films, TV, video games and computers instead. To what extent do you agree?

Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

Some people think that cultural traditions may be destroyed when they are used as money-making traditions aimed at tourists. Others, however, believe that it is the only way to save these traditions. Discuss both views and give your opinion.

Some employers believe that job applicants’ social skills are more important than their academic qualifications. To what extent do you agree? Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

Thanks to development of science and technology, the lifestyle have become more and more similar across the world. Do you think this is a positive or negative development?