IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 7.5

Some people believe that professionals, such as doctors and engineers, should be required to work in the country where they did their training. Others believe they should be free to work in another country if they wish. Discuss both these views and give your own opinion.

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People
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 have different views about whether experts ought to be demanded to
work
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 and stay in the
country
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 where they did their training or whether they should have the freedom of choice to
work
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 in another
country
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 if they intend to.
Although
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 they are a crucial workforce for their
country
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, I am in favour of giving them the freedom to
work
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 anywhere on the globe they want. On the one hand, requiring doctors and engineers to stay in the
country
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 helps the government address the shortage of skilled workers, which is a major problem for every
country
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, especially in developing economies.
Moreover
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, the authorities and taxpayers are investing heavily in the education and training of
professionals
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.
Hence
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, skilled workers need to meet their demands. Most importantly, professional
people
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 can improve the quality of the
country
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's life.
For example
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, doctors can provide healthcare to
people
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 who would
otherwise
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 not be able to afford it, and engineers can help build infrastructure that improves transportation, communication, and other essential services.
On the other hand
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, providing a chance to
work
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 in other countries to skilled workers means increased opportunities for
professionals
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 because they might have job satisfaction, high wages, and a better quality of life.
Furthermore
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, working in another part of the world leads to greater diversity and innovation.
For instance
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, when
professionals
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 from different countries
work
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 together, they can bring new ideas and perspectives to the field. Working abroad can help experts enhance their global understanding of the world; they might be able to develop a better understanding of other cultures, which is beneficial for individuals. In conclusion, I can understand why
people
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 require
professionals
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 to stay in the
country
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, but it seems to me that they need to select areas where they
work
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.

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Introduction and Conclusion
You articulated an engaging introduction and conclusion which encompassed your views concisely. To advance, ensure each body paragraph begins with a clear topic sentence to outline the main idea.
Coherence and Cohesion
Your essay was generally well-structured with a logical flow. To improve even further, consider utilizing a wider range of cohesive devices to seamlessly link ideas and paragraphs together.
Task Achievement
Your essay effectively addressed the prompt, showcasing a complete understanding. However, including a more diverse range of specific examples will strengthen your argument and provide more concrete evidence for your claims.
Balanced Discussion
Successfully presented a balanced discussion on the topic with a clear personal stance in the conclusion.
Use of Examples
Effective use of examples to illustrate points, although more specificity and variety would enhance your essay.
Structure and Organization
Clear structure and organization of essay, making it easy to follow your line of reasoning.
Topic Vocabulary:
  • professionals
  • doctors
  • engineers
  • required
  • training
  • home country
  • cultural
  • linguistic
  • advantages
  • economic impact
  • free
  • another country
  • globalization
  • international collaboration
  • improving
  • skills
  • knowledge
  • experience
  • opinion
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