IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 4.5

Some people think that governments should spend money on Railways. Others believe that there should be more investment Indu new roads. Discuss both sides and give your opinion

There is a debate over how
state
Correct article usage
the state
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 should spend money, with some saying that railway stations should be
rebuild
Wrong verb form
rebuilt
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, others arguing that new streets should be constructed. In my opinion, new
roads
Use synonyms
 are more essential in
modernization
Use the right word
modernisation
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 as they provide more
spaces
Fix the agreement mistake
space
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 and reduce
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
accidents
across
Change preposition
on
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the
Correct article usage
apply
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city
roads
Use synonyms
. In
Correct article usage
the modernized
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modernized
Use the right word
modernised
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 century, in some parts of the world, there are some railway stations remained since railways provide local people with
suitable
Correct article usage
a suitable
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 cost.
In addition
Linking Words
, it is
common
Correct article usage
a common
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 transportation system
among
Change preposition
in
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countryside
Correct article usage
the countryside
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 and they are used mostly for
industries
Replace the word
industrial
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 and commercial
ways
Check wording
purposes
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. As an example,
In
Fix capitalization
in
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 urban cities, it does not provide people with services as
a
Correct article usage
apply
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transportation
,
Punctuation problem
;
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conversely
Linking Words
,
government
Correct article usage
the government
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 made a decision to spend
finance
Fix the agreement mistake
finances
show examples
 in other needed ways.
Therefore
Linking Words
, railways should
be remained
Wrong verb form
remain
show examples
 in order to
Verb problem
provide service
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service
Wrong verb form
services
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 for people to cover the needs of their
family
Fix the agreement mistake
families
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.
In contrast
Linking Words
 to spending money
in
Change preposition
on
show examples
 railways,
government
Correct article usage
the government
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 must take care of new
infrastructures
Fix the agreement mistake
infrastructure
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, because
,
Punctuation problem
apply
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 development extremely demands new
roads
Use synonyms
, facilities
especially
Punctuation problem
, especially
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based
Verb problem
apply
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on the streets,
for example
Linking Words
, it includes covering the needs of citizens who suffer from difficulties with
roads
Use synonyms
. Streets should
expanded
Verb problem
be expanded
show examples
 and
arose
Verb problem
improved
show examples
 in order to reduce accidents and traffic jams in peak times.
However
Linking Words
,
roads
Use synonyms
 are being built and new infrastructures are expected.
As a result
Linking Words
, it leads to increasing agreements between citizens and
government
Correct article usage
the government
show examples
 and decreases many
of
Change preposition
apply
show examples
complaints and disagreements. In conclusion,
Linking Words
While
Fix capitalization
while
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 both infrastructures are needed
to
Change preposition
for
show examples
 human lives, I suppose that
roads
Use synonyms
 are more fundamental since they always remain important for every country and demand yearly development.

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coherence and cohesion
Make sure your introduction clearly states your opinion and outlines the main points you will discuss. This helps readers follow your argument better.
coherence and cohesion
Use linking words such as 'firstly', 'on the other hand', and 'in conclusion' to connect your ideas and make the essay flow better.
task achievement
Provide more specific examples to support your main points. This makes your argument stronger and more convincing.
task achievement
Try to develop your ideas in more detail. This can help make your writing clearer and more engaging.
task achievement
Your conclusion is clear and sums up your main point well.
task achievement
You have expressed your opinion, which is important for this type of essay.
Topic Vocabulary:
  • infrastructure development
  • public transportation
  • traffic congestion
  • environmental sustainability
  • carbon footprint
  • economic connectivity
  • trade facilitation
  • tourism expansion
  • transport safety
  • regional development
  • job creation
  • road freight transport
  • car ownership
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