Rising university fees and scares employment prospects for graduates have led some people to say that universities should not teach arts subjects, like philosophy and history, and only offer practical degree courses that maximise chances of employment. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

Due to
high inflation around the world
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
unemployment is a great issue faced by
people
. Education is proving to be very expensive with a significant rise in
tution
Correct your spelling
tuition
fees. Some
people
have suggested that Educational institutes should
subsitute
Correct your spelling
substitute
subjects related to arts so that the graduates have higher chances of getting a job. I completely agree with
this
and in
this
eassay
Correct your spelling
essay
, I will support my opinion with examples.
Firstly
,
This
approach will help students get
admissions
Fix the agreement mistake
admission
show examples
in the subjects which will evidently prove to be useful for them.
For instance
, more amount children will be able to get
in
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apply
show examples
a doctorate degree as there will be more seats available for them.
Moreover
, It will encourage students to
chose
Wrong verb form
choose
show examples
a more suitable profession for themselves. A study shows that there
is
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are
show examples
approximately 50 million patients in
india
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India
show examples
with only 25 thousand doctors.
This
strategy will help
in filling
Wrong verb form
fill
show examples
this
void and more doctors will be available to treat patients.
On the other hand
, Arts is
also
a growing industry which
entertain
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entertains
show examples
people
through different types of Art.
For example
, Movies are a type of art which consists of acting, producing and directing. Cinema is a huge industry and a home to numerous job
opporunities
Correct your spelling
opportunities
.
People
often stereotype
this
subject but it is a very essential part of their lives as it helps them to deal with stress with relaxing attributes. In conclusion, the suggestion of not teaching art subjects in universities is a great way to ensure employment in the future which will help
in
Change preposition
apply
show examples
control inflation. So I tend to agree with
this
approach as it will prove to be successful.
Submitted by irsamahmood on

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coherence cohesion
To strengthen your logical structure, ensure your arguments follow one another smoothly. Right now, some points seem a bit disjointed.
task achievement
Your task response is good but would benefit from a more balanced discussion of both sides of the argument. You can acknowledge the value of arts subjects while arguing your position more comprehensively.
task achievement
Work on clarity and comprehensiveness by expanding your key points with more detailed explanations.
coherence cohesion
Additionally, make sure to proofread your essay to avoid minor mistakes and improve overall readability.
introduction conclusion present
Your introduction sets the context well and presents a clear stance on the topic.
relevant specific examples
Your essay includes relevant examples, particularly the example about the need for more doctors, which effectively supports your point.

Use a variety of complex and simple sentences

You should use complex sentences in your writing, but it does not mean that you should try to make all of our sentences complex.

‘Complex’ sentences are not actually very complex; they are just two or more simple sentences put together. Putting them together makes the essay more coherent and cohesive.

Examples:

I really want to study but I’m too tired.

I wore a warm coat because the weather was cold.

If action is not taken soon on climate change, global warming will get worse.

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