Rising university fees and scares employment prospects for graduates have led some people to say that universities should not teach arts subjects, like philosophy and history, and only offer practical degree courses that maximise chances of employment. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

#university #fees #scares #employment #prospects #graduates #people #universities #arts #subjects #philosophy #history #offer #courses #maximise #chances

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Due to

high inflation around the world

the

Correct article usage

apply

show examples

unemployment is a great issue faced by

people

. Education is proving to be very expensive with a significant rise in

tution

Correct your spelling

tuition

fees. Some

people

have suggested that Educational institutes should

subsitute

Correct your spelling

substitute

subjects related to arts so that the graduates have higher chances of getting a job. I completely agree with

this

and in

this

eassay

Correct your spelling

essay

, I will support my opinion with examples.

Firstly

This

approach will help students get

admissions

Fix the agreement mistake

admission

show examples

in the subjects which will evidently prove to be useful for them.

For instance

, more amount children will be able to get

Change preposition

apply

show examples

a doctorate degree as there will be more seats available for them.

Moreover

, It will encourage students to

chose

Wrong verb form

choose

show examples

a more suitable profession for themselves. A study shows that there

Change the verb form

are

show examples

approximately 50 million patients in

india

Change the capitalization

India

show examples

with only 25 thousand doctors.

This

strategy will help

in filling

Wrong verb form

fill

show examples

this

void and more doctors will be available to treat patients.

On the other hand

, Arts is

also

a growing industry which

entertain

Change the verb form

entertains

show examples

people

through different types of Art.

For example

, Movies are a type of art which consists of acting, producing and directing. Cinema is a huge industry and a home to numerous job

opporunities

Correct your spelling

opportunities

People

often stereotype

this

subject but it is a very essential part of their lives as it helps them to deal with stress with relaxing attributes. In conclusion, the suggestion of not teaching art subjects in universities is a great way to ensure employment in the future which will help

Change preposition

apply

show examples

control inflation. So I tend to agree with

this

approach as it will prove to be successful.

Submitted by irsamahmood on Tue Sep 17 2024

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coherence cohesion

To strengthen your logical structure, ensure your arguments follow one another smoothly. Right now, some points seem a bit disjointed.

task achievement

Your task response is good but would benefit from a more balanced discussion of both sides of the argument. You can acknowledge the value of arts subjects while arguing your position more comprehensively.

task achievement

Work on clarity and comprehensiveness by expanding your key points with more detailed explanations.

coherence cohesion

Additionally, make sure to proofread your essay to avoid minor mistakes and improve overall readability.

introduction conclusion present

Your introduction sets the context well and presents a clear stance on the topic.

relevant specific examples

Your essay includes relevant examples, particularly the example about the need for more doctors, which effectively supports your point.

Use a variety of complex and simple sentences

You should use complex sentences in your writing, but it does not mean that you should try to make all of our sentences complex.

‘Complex’ sentences are not actually very complex; they are just two or more simple sentences put together. Putting them together makes the essay more coherent and cohesive.

Examples:

I really want to study but I’m too tired.

I wore a warm coat because the weather was cold.

If action is not taken soon on climate change, global warming will get worse.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

8
Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
1
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
13
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 5.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 4.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 4.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 5.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

4 paragraphs

273 words

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Rising university fees and scares employment prospects for graduates have led some people to say that universities should not teach arts subjects, like philosophy and history, and only offer practical degree courses that maximise chances of employment. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

Use a variety of complex and simple sentences

Some people are afraid to go out for fear of being robbed on the streets. Still, there are robberies that happen inside houses. What do you think is the best thing a person can do to ensure his/her own security? Use specific reasons and examples to support.

In many countries, the government prioritises economic growth above all other concerns. Discuss the advantages and disadvantages of this.

Doctors recommend that older people should excersice regularly.However many of them do not exercise enough. What are the causes? What can be done to encourage them to exercise?

In the future all cars, buses and trucks will be driverless. The only travelling inside these vehicles will be passengers. Do you think the advantages of driverless vehicles outweigh the disadvantages?