IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 4.5

People are encouraged to get rid of things in order to get newest fashion and latest technologies. Do the disadvantages of throwaway society outweigh the economic advantages?

In
this
Linking Words
 contemporary epoch, people have become
materalistic
Correct your spelling
materialistic
 and pay more attention to the branded goods than to
become
Wrong verb form
becoming
show examples
an
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
exemplary human
being
Fix the agreement mistake
beings
show examples
. Nowadays, individuals wear certain clothes or use certain
object
Fix the agreement mistake
objects
show examples
 for once and
then
Linking Words
 just throw
it
Correct pronoun usage
them
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 in
trash
Correct article usage
the trash
show examples
.
This
Linking Words
 essay intends to elaborate
the
Change preposition
on the
show examples
 reasons why
disadvantages
Correct article usage
the disadvantages
show examples
 of throwing
things
Use synonyms
 in
garbage
Correct article usage
the garbage
show examples
surpass
Verb problem
outweigh
show examples
 its advantages, in
upcoming
Correct article usage
the upcoming
show examples
 paragraphs. To commence with, owing to several reasons that emphasise discarding
things
Use synonyms
 in order
get
Verb problem
to get
show examples
 new stuff is creating
number
Correct article usage
a number
show examples
 of problems for
environment
Correct article usage
the environment
show examples
.
Firstly
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, the technological waste like laptops, smartphones, headphones
etc.
Punctuation problem
, etc.
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 are
non-recycable
Correct your spelling
non-recyclable
 and
non-degardable
Correct your spelling
non-degradable
.
Therefore
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,
this
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 e-waste creates soil, air, and water contamination by releasing toxic chemicals like lead, mercury, and cadmium
in
Change preposition
into
show examples
 the environment.
Furthermore
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, the urge
of buying
Change preposition
to buy
show examples
 new
things
Use synonyms
 every time creates social
difference
Fix the agreement mistake
differences
show examples
 between rich, poor, and
middle class
Use the right word
middle-class
show examples
 people.
For instance
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, a boy from well
known
Use the right word
well-known
show examples
 family studying can buy a new cellphone and show off in school,
whereas
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 a boy from low
income
Use the right word
low-income
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 family cannot purchase that stuff
Linking Words
Punctuation problem
, this
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this
Correct pronoun usage
which
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further
Linking Words
 creates
inferiority
Correct article usage
an inferiority
show examples
 complex within the children at
very
Correct article usage
a very
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 young age.
On the other hand
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, there are various disadvantages of throwing
things
Use synonyms
 in
dustbin
Correct article usage
the dustbin
show examples
, but its advantages are
also
Linking Words
 worthy
to
Change preposition
of
show examples
conisder
Correct your spelling
consideration
. Interestingly, these days technology has taken over everything and if you are not updating yourself as per the fashion and modern advancements
Linking Words
then
Punctuation problem
, then
show examples
 you might fall behind.
To conclude
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, it can be inferred from the above analysis that
although
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 there are
number
Correct article usage
a number
show examples
 of demerits of getting rid of
things
Use synonyms
 in order to get
newest
Correct article usage
the newest
show examples
 fashion and latest technologies,
but
Correct word choice
apply
show examples
its merits cannot be overlooked.
Hence
Linking Words
, one has to understand the difference between throwing stuff purposely just to fit in society
or
Punctuation problem
, or
show examples
there
Correct word choice
whether there
show examples
 is actually a need to upgrade or buy new objects.

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Task Response
Clearly state your main points in the introduction and make sure to discuss them fully in the body paragraphs.
Coherence and Cohesion
Use clear linking words to connect your ideas. For example, use words like 'firstly,' 'furthermore,' and 'on the other hand' more effectively.
Task Response
The essay addresses both the disadvantages and advantages of a throwaway society, which is a good approach.
Task Response
The examples provided help to illustrate the points made, showing an understanding of the topic.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »- a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Topic Vocabulary:
  • throwaway society
  • consumerism
  • planned obsolescence
  • economic advantages
  • environmental impact
  • mental health
  • biodiversity
  • pollution
  • consumer spending
  • job creation
  • sustainability
  • social implications
  • economic growth
  • trends
  • inadequacy
  • waste management
What to do next:
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