IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 7.5

You are soon going to spend three months doing work experience in an organisation. Write a letter to the manager of the organisation where you are going to do work experience. In your letter -Thank the manager for the opportunity to do work experience Explain what you hope to learn from the work experience Ask some questions about the work experience you are going to do Begin you letter as follows : Dear Sir or Madam,

#three #months #work #organisation #manager #-thank #opportunity #hope #questions #sir #madam
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Dear Sir or Madam, I trust you are doing well. The purpose of
this
Linking Words
 letter is to formally accept an internship as a Design Engineer in your company. First and foremost, thank you for offering
this
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 role which allows me to contribute to your company directly
as well as
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 helps me to excel in my skills.
Besides
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 that, these three months of work experience will help me understand the industry
while
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 working with some of the smartest people in the field.
Therefore
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, I aim to learn more about designing, testing and manufacturing different products.
In addition
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, I
also
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 hope to advance my technical communication
as well as
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 collaborative skills to be a better team member.
However
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, I have not received a formal list of training that I will have to complete. Not only that, but
also
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 I am not certain about which team will I be working with. Again thank you very much for offering
such
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 an amazing opportunity. Yours sincerely, Ruchin Patelx
Submitted by ruchin27 on

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task achievement
Consider providing a brief introduction about yourself in the beginning of the letter, before expressing your gratitude.
coherence cohesion
Ensure that each paragraph focuses on a single idea to further enhance readability.
task achievement
The letter maintains a polite and professional tone throughout, appropriate for addressing a manager.
coherence cohesion
The letter is well-organized with a clear beginning, middle, and end, making it easy to follow.
task achievement
Expresses gratitude, sets aims for the internship and asks relevant questions about the work experience clearly and effectively.

Use a variety of complex and simple sentences

You should use complex sentences in your writing, but it does not mean that you should try to make all of our sentences complex.

‘Complex’ sentences are not actually very complex; they are just two or more simple sentences put together. Putting them together makes the essay more coherent and cohesive.

Examples:

I really want to study but I’m too tired.

I wore a warm coat because the weather was cold.

If action is not taken soon on climate change, global warming will get worse.

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