The working week should be shorter and workers should have a longer weekend. Do you agree or disagree?
Reducing the legal working day, in order to extend the weekends for workers, is a controversial issue. In my view, I partly disagree with
this
statement.
The decrease in working Linking Words
day
is detrimental to the development of the economy, resulting in the loss of income for the working class eventually. The decrease in working Fix the agreement mistake
days
day
would inevitably lead to a reduction in efficient labour and production Fix the agreement mistake
days
time
, the aggregate industrial outputs would be under pressure. As productivity decreases, economic activities are likely to shrink, causing a macroeconomic downturn and the decline of social wealth.
Use synonyms
Moreover
, the short working week would bring deleterious effects to personal growth. Career is the most crucial part of life for the majority of Linking Words
crowd
Add an article
the crowd
,
because Remove the comma
apply
people
are not only devoting themselves to earning their salariesUse synonyms
,
but Remove the comma
apply
also
to being trained for work in society. Linking Words
People
may acquire some skills that are advantageous to their development, Use synonyms
such
as problem-solving, communication and cooperation. Ensuring sufficient working Linking Words
time
allows Use synonyms
people
to accomplish their jobs and learn from it, enhancing their competency and productivity.
Use synonyms
On the other hand
, undoubtedly, the longer weekend could ensure that workers are entitled to obtain adequate rest, which is necessary for the worker's health. Linking Words
According to
the nature of humanity, both physically and mentally, relieving the fatigue Linking Words
that is
induced by working is essential, Linking Words
otherwise
, workers would be under threat of physical and mental illness.
In conclusion, work Linking Words
time
and break Use synonyms
time
are both vital to human society. Even though Use synonyms
people
desire to have more Use synonyms
time
to spend on the weekend, it would have disastrous consequences Use synonyms
to
the economy and society.Change preposition
for
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task achievement
Your essay presents a balanced view and addresses both sides of the argument, which is commendable. However, incorporating more specific examples or evidence would strengthen your arguments and provide clearer support for your points.
coherence and cohesion
Ensure that each paragraph transitions smoothly to the next. Some transitions between points could be more fluid to enhance readability. Overall, your essay is well-structured but improving the flow will make it even more coherent.
coherence and cohesion
You have a clear introduction and conclusion, which helps frame your arguments well.
task achievement
You present a balanced view, acknowledging both perspectives on the issue, which demonstrates a comprehensive approach.
Fully explain your ideas
To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).
For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:
- Paragraph 1 - Introduction
- Sentence 1 - Background statement
- Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
- Sentence 3 - Thesis
- Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
- Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
- Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
- Sentence 2 - Example
- Sentence 3 - Discussion
- Sentence 4 - Conclusion
- Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
- Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
- Sentence 2 - Example
- Sentence 3 - Discussion
- Sentence 4 - Conclusion
- Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
- Sentence 1 - Summary
- Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
- Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation
Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.