IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 4.5

Some people believe that professionals, such as doctors and engineers, should be required to work in the country where they did their training. Others belive they shoud be free to work in another country if they wish. Discuss both these views and give your own opinion.

In the era of
globalization
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globalisation
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, more options
on
Change preposition
for
show examples
countries
Use synonyms
 are
availiable
Correct your spelling
available
 for students and specialists.
However
Linking Words
,
this
Linking Words
 creates a discussion about
Correct word choice
whether should
show examples
should
Correct word order
professionals should
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professionals
Use synonyms
 stay in the
country
Use synonyms
 where they got their education, or should they be free to choose. Even though
countries
Use synonyms
 invest in the future workers and expect them to benefit their society, I think
ability
Correct article usage
the ability
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 to work wherever people want is essential for
development
Correct article usage
the development
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 of both individuals themself and the whole world. Almost every
goverment
Correct your spelling
government
 includes improvement of education in its strategy for developing
their
Fix the agreement mistake
its
show examples
country
Use synonyms
, but not always receives the
desireable
Correct your spelling
desired
 result. They may provide students with state-of-the-art labs, dedicated environments, the best professors and other facilities in order
Change preposition
for to
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to them
Correct word order
them to
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 become highly demanded in the market and become successful in their career.
This
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 is done for new inventions, progress in numerous fields or, at least, to collect higher taxes from higher salaries, all of which pushes the
country
Use synonyms
 forward.
Nevertheless
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, some of the qualified
specialist
Fix the agreement mistake
specialists
show examples
 find jobs abroad and leave, making all of the
spended resorces
Correct your spelling
spent resources
waste
Correct article usage
a waste
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. It is especially concerning in
the
Correct article usage
apply
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developing
countries
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, from where
professionals
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 emigrate
with
Change preposition
at
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 a higher rate in search of a better life, and where the funding is limited. Still, moving is beneficial for the workers and the world.
Traveling
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Travelling
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 always comes
along with
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 broadening
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
one's horizons, but working
in
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apply
show examples
oversea
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overseas
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also
Linking Words
 makes people gain new skills and knowledge. Different job places can introduce different or new approaches to the same problem, and the worker is constantly
exposured
Correct your spelling
exposed
 to new things in another
country
Use synonyms
. Eventually,
this
Linking Words
occurance
Correct your spelling
occurrence
 increases the value of the
professionals
Use synonyms
 and contributes to the knowledge and skill exchange between the
countries
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, developing the earth population
overall
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.
In addition
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, specialists can return to their home
country
Use synonyms
 and bring new technologies.
To sum up
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, it is better to give
a
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
freedom
for
Change preposition
to
show examples
professionals
Use synonyms
 in choosing their
country
Use synonyms
 of workplace, in my opinion. If
countries
Use synonyms
 wish to hold the qualified workers within
the
Correct pronoun usage
their
show examples
 borders, they must motivate them to stay by improving the quality of life.

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coherence and cohesion
Make sure your ideas follow a clear order. Think about how each part connects to the last.
coherence and cohesion
Be careful with spelling and grammar. Check for mistakes to make your writing clearer.
task achievement
Include specific examples to support your points better and make them stronger.
task achievement
You express a clear opinion on the topic, which is important for the essay.
coherence and cohesion
Your paragraphs each focus on a main idea, which helps the reader follow your thoughts.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »- a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

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