IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 4.5

In a number of countries, some people think It is necessary to spend large sums of money on constructing new railway lines for very fast trains between cities. Others belleve the money should be spent on improving existing public transport. Discuss both these vlews and give your own opinion.

My
opinion
Use synonyms
: Improve existing ones
..
Punctuation problem
,
show examples
 old better structures, In Certain regions around the globe, the masses believes huge amounts of funds should be put into
Correct article usage
the
show examples
train
Use synonyms
sector
Use synonyms
 of
transportation
Use synonyms
 for speed across
inter City
Use the right word
inter-city
show examples
 travels
Linking Words
while
Punctuation problem
, while
show examples
 others
feels
Correct subject-verb agreement
feel
show examples
 the mobile section of cars , taxes
and
Punctuation problem
, and
show examples
 buses should be financed. I am of the
opinion
Use synonyms
 that
automobile
Correct article usage
the automobile
show examples
sectors
Fix the agreement mistake
sector
show examples
 should be funded. Improved accessibility to more
transport
Use synonyms
 spheres and easy affordability by the masses will
further
Linking Words
 buttress my point.
First,
Linking Words
the already existing government sectors of
transportation
Use synonyms
provides
Correct subject-verb agreement
provide
show examples
 accessibility to almost all forms of
travels
Fix the agreement mistake
travel
show examples
like
Punctuation problem
, like
show examples
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
air, sea and road. Funding of
this
Linking Words
 aspect improves movement across all links,
hence
Linking Words
 fostering better business travels
for example
Linking Words
, the forbes statistics of commerce shows that
transportation
Use synonyms
 across the road using sports cars which has the highest speed of 200km per hour was used to carry out 40 businesss across cities within 20 hours, skyrocketing GDP from 20 to 30 000.
This
Linking Words
 shows that its speed is higher than modern trains
which
Punctuation problem
, which
show examples
runs
Correct subject-verb agreement
run
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 at 100km per hour.
In addition
Linking Words
 , travel by
cars
Fix the agreement mistake
car
show examples
 and
buses
Fix the agreement mistake
bus
show examples
are
Correct subject-verb agreement
is
show examples
 cheaper and affordable.
Study
Correct article usage
A study
show examples
 by Eden et al 2025
,
Punctuation problem
)
show examples
 shows that
poor
Correct article usage
the poor
show examples
 masses of annual income less than
20 000
Correct your spelling
20,000
 per year can easily move from one hub to another for
job
Correct article usage
a job
show examples
due to
Linking Words
 cheap
transportation
Use synonyms
,
Linking Words
this
Correct pronoun usage
which
show examples
 in turn reduces unemployment amongst the people.
This
Linking Words
further
Linking Words
 supports the need for more funding
on
Change preposition
in
show examples
this
Linking Words
sector
Use synonyms
.
However
Linking Words
, trains are well known for speed, but
Verb problem
are
show examples
limited to the
rail way
Use the right word
railway
show examples
. Movement's using
Use synonyms
train
Correct article usage
the train
show examples
 is ironically the slowest for
inter hood
Use the right word
inter-hood
show examples
 travel.
This
Linking Words
 is because of
vandalisation
Check wording
vandalism
show examples
 of
Correct article usage
the rail
show examples
rail way
Use the right word
railway
show examples
 and
insecurities
Fix the agreement mistake
insecurity
show examples
 across
station
Correct article usage
the station
show examples
.
For example
Linking Words
, destruction of
major
Correct article usage
a major
show examples
 railway could lead to cancellation of
train
Use synonyms
 journey for the day and
consequently
Linking Words
 alteration of
peoples
Check wording
people's
show examples
 plans and schedules.
Also
Linking Words
, the high
incident
Replace the word
incidence
show examples
 of theft in
station
Correct article usage
the station
show examples
 makes it a target for
robber
Fix the agreement mistake
robbers
show examples
. In my
opinion
Use synonyms
, finances should be channelled to
public
Correct article usage
the public
show examples
sector
Use synonyms
 of
transport
Use synonyms
 for
it's
Use the right word
its
show examples
maintaince
Correct your spelling
maintenance
.
This
Linking Words
 saves the state cost,
more
Verb problem
is more
show examples
 economical and
improved
Replace the word
improves
show examples
 choices for the people.
For instance
Linking Words
, more
saved
Replace the word
savings
show examples
 from maintaining already present vehicles could be put into other infrastructure
like
Punctuation problem
, like
show examples
school
Fix the agreement mistake
schools
show examples
.
This
Linking Words
 improves development and social norms. In summary, it is known that folks in certain regions of the world want financial investment to go
new
Change preposition
to new
show examples
train
Use synonyms
 acquisition
while
Linking Words
other
Fix the agreement mistake
others
show examples
 want public
transport
Use synonyms
. With the ease of movement and low tariffs of government
transport
Use synonyms
, its use is assumed to be better than
it's
Use the right word
its
show examples
 counterpart. With
this
Linking Words
opinion
Use synonyms
, I
indulge
Verb problem
suggest
show examples
 that considerations are put into financing the public
sector
Use synonyms
 better. gneeasily be halted by slight changes or obstructions
Linking Words
thus
Punctuation problem
, thus
show examples
 stalling travels for the to one railway could hk

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coherence and cohesion
Your ideas need to be more clearly organized. Make sure each paragraph has a clear main point and supporting sentences.
task achievement
Include clearer examples and explain them better to support your points. This will help strengthen your argument.
clarity
Use simpler sentences to make your ideas easier to understand. Avoid complex phrases that might confuse readers.
task achievement
You have a clear opinion about where funding should go, which is important for your essay.
task achievement
You bring up some relevant points about public transport costs and accessibility.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »- a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

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