IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 6

The gap between the rich and the poor is increasingly wide, as poor people become poorer and rich people become richer. What problems could this situations cause?? what are the solutions to address those problems??

Increasing inequality between the rich and the poor is becoming a serious problem in many countries.
This
Linking Words
 situation can cause several issues, and governments need to find ways to solve these problems One main problem is that higher inequality can lead to more crime. Poor people might turn to illegal activities because they lack other options.
For example
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, a police report from New York City showed that about 85% of crimes were committed by individuals from low-income areas. Another problem is unequal access to
education
Use synonyms
.
Children
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 from poor families often do not get the same opportunities as wealthier
children
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.
According to
Linking Words
,
Punctuation problem
apply
show examples
a
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
research conducted at the University of Toronto, it
had been
Wrong verb form
was
show examples
 found that students from low-income backgrounds only made up 20% of the university's student body, which shows how poverty can limit
education
Use synonyms
 opportunities.
As a consequence
Linking Words
,
this
Linking Words
 not only causes social unrest but
also
Linking Words
 affects their future lives, as they are less likely to find good jobs. To solve these problems, governments should take action. One way is to give financial support or subsidies to poor families, helping them to afford basic needs.
For example
Linking Words
, in Germany, the government has successfully reduced the income gap by providing financial aid over recent years.
Also
Linking Words
, providing free and quality
education
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, especially in poor
neighborhoods
Use the right word
neighbourhoods
show examples
, can help reduce crime and give
children
Use synonyms
 better chances in life. When
children
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 from low-income families get
good
Correct article usage
a good
show examples
education
Use synonyms
, they can grow up to have better jobs and live better lives In conclusion*, the increasing gap between rich and poor can cause serious problems like higher crime rates and limited opportunities for young people. Governments can help by offering financial support and improving
education
Use synonyms
 for disadvantaged groups to build a fairer society.

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task achievement
Try to add a bit more detail to your points to make them stronger.
coherence and cohesion
Make sure your ideas flow smoothly from one to another. You could use linking words like 'first', 'next', and 'finally'.
task achievement
You provide clear examples that support your points, which is very good.
coherence and cohesion
Your introduction and conclusion effectively summarize the main ideas of your essay.

Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately

Linking words are very important in your essay.

To score effectively on your IELTS exam, you should make an effort to implement short concise sentences coupled with linking words.

Almost every sentence in your essay should have a linking word of some sort.

In fact, the only sentences that can omit linking words are your background sentence and thesis.

Linking word examples:

  • firstly
  • secondly
  • thirdly
  • in additional
  • moreover
  • also
  • for example
  • for instance
  • therefore
  • however
  • although
  • even though
  • despite

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