Many people believe that social networking sites (such as Facebook) have had a [huge negative impact on both individuals and society. To what extent do you agree

It is undeniable that professional

athletes

Use synonyms

make

Verb problem

play

show examples

good

Correct article usage

a good

show examples

role

Use synonyms

has become an

essantial

Correct your spelling

essential

part of our life.

However

Linking Words

,there is no absolute agreement on whether make

role

Use synonyms

model should be good or bad.

Linking Words

Nevertheless

Add a comma

Nevertheless,

show examples

lifestyles are not always ideal for impressionable youth.

For instance

Linking Words

athletes

Use synonyms

like Serena Williams and Cristiano Ronaldo have overcome significant personal and professional challenges to reach.Their stories can motivate young

people

Use synonyms

to work hard, pursue their goals. It could be explained by the fact that

athletes

Use synonyms

live under public

,cause

Check wording

scrutiny,cause

show examples

people

Use synonyms

can pressure

Change preposition

apply

show examples

athlete

Fix the agreement mistake

athletes

show examples

Moreover

Linking Words

, many

athletes

Use synonyms

engage in charitable activities and use their fame to advocate for social causes.We have access to his or her life.

The despite

Correct word order

Despite the

show examples

people

Use synonyms

believe professional

atheletes

Correct your spelling

athletes

make good

role

Use synonyms

models.

However

Linking Words

this

Linking Words

same pressure can

also

Linking Words

cause some

athletes

Use synonyms

to make bad choices, like using drugs to improve their performance or behaving badly on or off the field.

it’s

Fix capitalization

It’s

show examples

important to remember that being famous doesn’t always mean someone is a good

role

Use synonyms

model.They have good sides and bad sides.

This

Linking Words

can give the wrong idea about what it means to be successful.They train every day, follow a strict routine, and stay focused on their goals.

This

Linking Words

can teach young

people

Use synonyms

the value of discipline, patience, and effort.When young

people

Use synonyms

see

this

Linking Words

, they might think it is okay to do the same.In conclusion,taking

everthing

Correct your spelling

everything

mentioned into

account

Punctuation problem

account,

show examples

I would argue that

athletes

Use synonyms

can be good

role

Use synonyms

models, but not always. Young

people

Use synonyms

should learn to respect

athletes

Use synonyms

who work hard and show good values

dnm.best

Jul 15, 2025

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task achievement

Your introduction needs to clearly state your opinion on whether athletes make good role models. This helps the reader understand your main point right away.

coherence and cohesion

Make sure each paragraph has a clear main idea, and use linking words like 'firstly', 'however', and 'in conclusion' to connect your ideas better.

task achievement

Include more specific examples or explanations for your points. For example, discuss how an athlete's actions influenced their fans positively or negatively.

task achievement

You provide some good examples of athletes like Serena Williams and Cristiano Ronaldo, which helps support your ideas.

coherence and cohesion

Your essay has a clear conclusion that sums up your thoughts well and gives a nice ending to your argument.

Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately

Linking words are very important in your essay.

To score effectively on your IELTS exam, you should make an effort to implement short concise sentences coupled with linking words.

Almost every sentence in your essay should have a linking word of some sort.

In fact, the only sentences that can omit linking words are your background sentence and thesis.

Linking word examples:

firstly
secondly
thirdly
in additional
moreover
also
for example
for instance
therefore
however
although
even though
despite

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6
Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
3
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
12
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

<4

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 4.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 4.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 4.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 5.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

2 paragraphs

246 words

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Topic Vocabulary:

social media
impact
negative
individuals
society
loneliness
anxiety
self-esteem
cyberbullying
emotional harm
mental health
information
misunderstandings
trust
connection
privacy
personal data
misuse
communication
interactions

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