IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 7

with the increased global demand in oil and gas, undiscovered areas of the world should be opened up to access more recources. to what extend do you agree?

In today's world, the demand for non-renewable sources has increased substantially. It is said that
this
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 problem can be dealt with by exploiting oil and gas in virgin
areas
Use synonyms
.
This
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 essay totally disagrees with
this
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 statement. I believe that by the excavation of these
areas
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, environmental issues are inevitable. First and foremost, the extraction of undiscovered
areas
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 can harm the biodiversity of that district, which can be harmful to habitats and lands and is not inexpensive. To illustrate,
this
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 method needs tools and equipment to carve the land and reach sources, which, on a long-term basis, causes destruction, harms the ozone layer and destroys natural habitats.
In addition
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, we cannot neglect the exorbitant costs of transformation of
such
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resources
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 and
also
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 the workforce that should be away from their family and adapt to a new life in
areas
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 like arctic zones.
Moreover
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, if each country tries to conquer these scarce
areas
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, it will cause conflicts between other countries. Put differently, each nation can claim ownership of lands, and
subsequently
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, many arguments can happen or even a war can be predicted. What is more, not only does
this
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 action threaten the ordinary people's lives, but it
also
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 imposes an onus on nations.
Therefore
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, all authorities should try to find alternatives for
such
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resources
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 and should try to reduce our dependency by replacing new fuels. A case in point is using electricity for charging cars
instead
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 of gasoline.
To sum up
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, I strongly reiterate my opinion by saying that using natural
resources
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 from undiscovered
areas
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 can have destructive effects.
Although
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 natural
resources
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 are vital for all humankind, governments should take into consideration the consequences of
this
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 action.

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task achievement
Include a clear position in your introduction that states your opinion more strongly.
coherence and cohesion
Use linking words to connect your ideas and paragraphs better.
task achievement
Add more specific examples to support your points.
structure
Good introduction and conclusion that present your opinion clearly.
content
Addressed environmental and social issues related to extraction well.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »- a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Topic Vocabulary:
  • demand
  • global
  • explore
  • resources
  • economic
  • growth
  • jobs
  • harm
  • environment
  • wildlife
  • conflicts
  • land
  • renewable
  • energy
  • prioritize
  • fossil fuels
  • access
  • areas
  • meet
  • needs
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