Many people use social media to get in touch with others and keep on latest news. Do advantages outweigh the disadvantages ?
The ever-growing access to social platforms globally is led by individual contacts and staying up-to-date with the distances. In terms of Facebook, is the main hub of media around the world, and has been primarily programmed for social assessment.
Another benefit of using global media is keeping up with the
news
. This
writer argues that the benefits of getting into contact with people
and absorbing the news
strongly outweigh the drawbacks of being affected by negative content.
It is vital to understand that social platforms are created for bonding relationships between people
. Obviously, many people
spend less time being together daily, stemming from their harsh schedules in workplaces and schools. By having social applications on their devices, not only surrounding obstacles tend not to occur in spending time with others, but also
the connection between people
is globally widespread, even in the conditionChange preposition
of
news
. By this
point, social applications have rapid speed in uploading the latest news
around the world. Hence
, users can immediately utilise this
information
for individual purposes. Taking the stock market as a prime example, where traders are in need of information
to make a decision whether to buy or sell their shares to maintain holding in business.
Despite the aforementioned benefits, detrimental contents play a severe role in using media platforms. To be more specific, lots of information
USE SYNONYMS
advicecluedatainfoinstructionintelligenceknowledgematerialmessagereportsciencetipword
It is important to use synonyms in your writing, as you will lose marks if you repeat words from the question and use the same words in your essay over and over. If you do that, it will show the examiner that you have a limited vocabulary and you want to do the opposite for a high band score.
sources are not well censored by authorities, including suicides, critics, and poor statuses have the ability to appear in general hubs of online databases. However
, these problems are rarely happened
Change to the active voice
rarely happen
happened
overall
, and excessive prohibitions from parliaments can solely solve these commitments.
In conclusion, many people
are utilising a wide networks
as a tool to keep in touch with others and upload Correct the article-noun agreement
a wide network
wide networks
information
, within
unscrupulous data included. Change preposition
with
Therefore
, this
drawback can be dealt with by pledges of authorities and residentsSubmitted by Nghỉ hè vui vẻ cả nhà on
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task achievement
The essay addresses the prompt well and presents a clear argument on whether the advantages of social media outweigh the disadvantages. However, the support for the views could be more comprehensive and detailed.
coherence cohesion
The essay would benefit from clearer and more varied topic sentences to guide the reader through the arguments. Additionally, work on better connecting the ideas within and between paragraphs to improve overall coherence.
introduction conclusion present
The introduction and conclusion are present and effectively frame the essay, helping the reader understand the main argument.
relevant specific examples
The essay provides relevant examples, such as the use of social media for maintaining personal relationships and staying updated with news, which help illustrate the points made.
Fully explain your ideas
To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).
For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:
- Paragraph 1 - Introduction
- Sentence 1 - Background statement
- Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
- Sentence 3 - Thesis
- Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
- Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
- Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
- Sentence 2 - Example
- Sentence 3 - Discussion
- Sentence 4 - Conclusion
- Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
- Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
- Sentence 2 - Example
- Sentence 3 - Discussion
- Sentence 4 - Conclusion
- Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
- Sentence 1 - Summary
- Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
- Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation
Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.
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