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Writing Samples
Band 7.5

Some believe that a student's success is mainly based on the quality of their teaching while others think it has more to do with the student's attitude. Discuss both views and give your own opinion.

In recent years, many people have widely believed that the quality of education plays a vital role in shaping
students
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’ success.
However
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, others argue that a student’s mindset and determination are more crucial. I, from my point of view, am convinced that both the educational quality and an individual’s attitude are equally needed, and the support will be covered in
this
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 essay.
To begin
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 with, the quality of teaching directly affects
students
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’ understanding and academic development.
In other words
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, qualified educators can present complex knowledge in a clear and structured way
,
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;
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as a result
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,
students
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 gain deeper insights and better academic outcomes.
Moreover
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, strong teaching practices help
students
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 stay motivated and focused on their learning journey.
For example
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, when teachers are passionate and experienced, they can inspire
students
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 to explore their full potential and continue striving toward their goals.
Thus
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, well-trained educators can significantly contribute to a student’s long-term success both academically and professionally.
Besides
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, a student’s attitude is another essential factor that determines their achievement.
That is
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 to say, motivation, perseverance, and self-discipline enable
students
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 to overcome challenges and pursue their ambitions.
For instance
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, even with limited support, a highly motivated learner who is determined to succeed may spend extra time reviewing lessons or seeking additional help, which eventually leads to better outcomes. In conclusion, for the aforementioned reasons, it can be clearly seen that both high-quality teaching and a strong personal attitude are fundamental to student success. Each aspect supports the other in the learning process.
Therefore
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, a balanced combination of external drives will most likely lead
students
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 to achieve their highest potential.

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coherence and cohesion
Make sure that each paragraph has a clear main idea and that all sentences in the paragraph support this main idea.
task achievement
In the introduction, clearly state your opinion at the end to help readers understand your stance better.
task achievement
Include more specific examples in the body paragraphs to show your points more clearly.
task achievement
You clearly present both views and explain your own opinion well.
coherence and cohesion
The essay has a good structure with clear introduction, body paragraphs, and conclusion.
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