IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 4

The crime rate nawadays is decreasing compared to the past due to advance technology which can prevent and solve crime. Do you agree or disagree?

There is an argument that developing
technology
Use synonyms
 leads to a significant decline in the
crime
Use synonyms
rate
Use synonyms
.
In other words
Linking Words
, it has been
thoutgh
Correct your spelling
thought
 that
technology
Use synonyms
 can
perevent
Correct your spelling
prevent
 and solve
cime
Correct your spelling
crime
issue
Fix the agreement mistake
issues
show examples
. I completely disagree with
this
Linking Words
 view and I do believe just
type
Correct pronoun usage
one type
show examples
 of
crime
Use synonyms
 is going to
chang
Use the right word
change
show examples
. Appearing
the
Punctuation problem
, the
show examples
technology
Use synonyms
 changes the form of our possession
which
Punctuation problem
, which
show examples
require
Correct subject-verb agreement
requires
show examples
 new
froms
Correct your spelling
forms
 of safety roles.
For instance
Linking Words
, by growing the credit card nowadays,people no longer have money
on
Change preposition
in
show examples
thier
Correct your spelling
their
 wallets
which
Punctuation problem
, which
show examples
dose
Use the right word
does
show examples
 not mean
they
Correct pronoun usage
apply
show examples
thef
Correct your spelling
the
 issue can be
definintely
Correct your spelling
definitely
 prevented. Indeed, the new form of
rrobery
Correct your spelling
robbery
 has been created like a physical
forms
Fix the agreement mistake
form
show examples
 of theft is
replayced
Correct your spelling
replayed
 by
sybering
Correct word choice
a cyber
show examples
attack bank statement.
According to
Linking Words
, study conducted by Toronto
unieversity
Correct your spelling
University
 found that the about $450 trillion had been stolen from about 1 million people in the
last
Linking Words
 decade.
Thus
Linking Words
, developing new technologies
dose
Use the right word
does
show examples
 not mean decreasing
Correct article usage
the
show examples
crime
Use synonyms
rate
Use synonyms
it
Punctuation problem
; it
show examples
 just
lead
Correct subject-verb agreement
leads
show examples
 to
Correct article usage
the tranformqtion
show examples
tranformqtion
Correct your spelling
transformation
 of
crime
Use synonyms
 background
place
Fix the agreement mistake
places
show examples
, from physical sites to online platforms. Some
argument
Replace the word
argue
show examples
 that new
acheivement
Correct your spelling
achievements
 in
security
Correct article usage
the security
show examples
 sector can play an important role as proactive measures to prevent
crime
Use synonyms
.
For example
Linking Words
,
hightech
Correct your spelling
high-tech
 cameras,
untitheaf
Correct word choice
untheftable
show examples
 doors or
remot controsl
Correct your spelling
remote control
 and monitors provide a safety that
it
Correct pronoun usage
apply
show examples
can lead to
crime
Use synonyms
rate
Use synonyms
fall
Check wording
apply
show examples
.
However
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, all
Linking Words
this
Fix the agreement mistake
these
show examples
 elements are essential
but
Punctuation problem
, but
show examples
 the fact is that
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
every
technology
Use synonyms
 has
it's
Use the right word
its
show examples
 gap. The best example that
can be
Verb problem
apply
show examples
proved
Wrong verb form
proves
show examples
this
Linking Words
 fact is the
Mishigan Internotinal bank
Correct your spelling
Michigan International Bank
rubbery
Use the right word
robbery
show examples
 in 2020, which
it
Correct pronoun usage
apply
show examples
had a
veraity
Fix the agreement mistake
variety of
show examples
 forms of digital security
device
Fix the agreement mistake
devices
show examples
 In conclusion,
although
Linking Words
 the growing
technology
Use synonyms
 provides a lot of
applience
Correct your spelling
application
 to monitor
control
Punctuation problem
, control
show examples
 or
pervetn
Correct your spelling
prevent
of
Change preposition
apply
show examples
happeing
Correct your spelling
happening
crime
Use synonyms
, it
dose
Use the right word
does
show examples
 not mean the
crime
Use synonyms
rate
Use synonyms
 will decrease.
the
Fix capitalization
The
show examples
 only thing is the type of

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coherence and cohesion
Make sure your ideas are well connected and flow smoothly from one to the next.
task achievement
Use clearer examples to support your main points, and ensure they directly relate to your argument.
general
Check your spelling and grammar to help make your points more clear and understandable.
task achievement
You have a clear opinion on the topic, which is important for task achievement.
task achievement
You have identified the shift in crime types due to technology, which is a good observation.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »- a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

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