IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 5

Some people say that advertising is extremely successful at persuading us to buy things. Other people think that advertising is so common that we no longer pay attention to it. Discuss both these views and give your own opinion.

In the recent past, advertising was believed to be
one
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 of the most important reasons encouraging
customers
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 to buy products.
However
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, others oppose that nobody cares about advertising
anymore
Punctuation problem
anymore,
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 as it is normal to see. In my opinion, most
customers
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 do not notice that advertising, in the business field, is
one
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 of the key factors in increasing sales. It is widely believed that advertising has no effect on
the
Correct article usage
apply
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purchasing
choice
Fix the agreement mistake
choices
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.
This
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 is because there are some negative feelings toward advertising.
For instance
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, some think that most ads often over-claim their
product
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 quality, so advertising cannot be trusted.
Additionally
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, watching advertising is a waste of time, and people do not need to pay attention to it. As people can see advertising almost everywhere, some have never felt like buying any item seen in the ads.
On the other hand
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, from the business view, advertising is a part of marketing strategies, and it is
one
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 of the key success factors that enhance company revenues. Advertising not only encourages
customers
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 to buy products, but it is
also
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 a useful tool to create more brand engagement. The more brand awareness means the more customer attraction.
For example
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, the marketing team will use advertising to tell
customer
Fix the agreement mistake
customers
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 about their newly launched
product
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 to attract
customers
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 to come out and buy the new
product
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. New
customers
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 after received advertised information may
also
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 want to try the
product
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. With all these considerations, on the
one
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 hand, advertising has never been a part of buying decisions
,
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;
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on the other hand
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, it was proved that it does improve sales. In my opinion, I think advertising is
one
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 of the factors that increases business revenues without
customers
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' awareness of the
advertisement
Check wording
advertisement's
show examples
 effect.

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coherence and cohesion
Make sure each paragraph clearly supports the main argument with distinct ideas.
task achievement
Provide more examples to support your points and make your argument stronger.
coherence and cohesion
Try to include a stronger conclusion that summarizes your main points clearly.
content
The essay provides a balanced view of both sides of the argument.
content
There are clear opinions expressed about the impact of advertising.
Topic Vocabulary:
  • persuade
  • promote
  • attract
  • influence
  • impact
  • consumerism
  • commercialism
  • market
  • product
  • brand
  • endorsement
  • manipulative
  • saturated
  • overwhelmed
  • repetitive
  • distracting
  • irrelevant
  • exaggerated
  • misleading
  • desensitized
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