It is important for people to take risks, both in their professional lives and their personal lives. Do you think the advantages of taking risks outweigh the disadvantages?

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Risk-taking is often seen as an important part of personal and professional

growth

While

it may present unforeseen challenges, I think the potential benefits of embracing risk often outweigh the drawbacks. Adventure,

while

exciting and enriching, comes with inherent

risks

and drawbacks. It brings uncertainty, unexpected challenges, and sometimes undesired results. It is important to acknowledge the potential negative effects associated with risk-taking. A major concern is the possibility of failure and its consequences.

For example

, risky investments in the stock market can lead to financial losses, causing stress and frustration.

In addition

, some

risks

can cause physical or emotional harm,

such

as extreme sports or personal risk-taking decisions.

Therefore

individuals

must carefully weigh the potential consequences before embarking on a risk.

However

, these pitfalls are often accompanied by

growth

, resilience, and valuable life experiences that shape our perspective and enhance our understanding of the world around us. An important benefit of taking

risks

is the potential for personal

growth

and development. When

individuals

step out of their comfort zone, they are often forced to learn new skills, adapt to unfamiliar situations, and innovate solutions.

For example

, entrepreneurs who take financial

risks

to start businesses not only gain valuable experience

Remove the comma

apply

show examples

but

also

contribute to the economic vitality and innovation of their communities.

Therefore

, without taking

risks

individuals

may miss out on opportunities for personal development and

fulfillment

Change the spelling

fulfilment

show examples

. In summary,

although

risk-taking involves uncertainty and potential downsides, the advantages,

such

as personal

growth

, innovation, and resilience, generally outweigh the downsides.

Therefore

individuals

should take calculated

risks

in their professional and personal lives to maximize their potential and make a positive contribution to society.

Submitted by fiasngs on Sun Jun 30 2024

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coherence cohesion

To achieve a higher score, consider refining your introduction to present a more compelling thesis statement that clearly outlines your stance. Additionally, ensure each paragraph transitions smoothly to improve overall coherence and cohesion.

task achievement

Work on expanding the examples provided to make them more specific and relatable. This will help strengthen your arguments and make them more persuasive.

coherence cohesion

Strong introduction and conclusion that effectively frame the essay.

task achievement

You have clearly outlined the potential benefits and drawbacks of risk-taking, showing a balanced understanding of the topic.

coherence cohesion

Good use of transitional phrases to guide the reader through your arguments and examples.

Use a variety of complex and simple sentences

You should use complex sentences in your writing, but it does not mean that you should try to make all of our sentences complex.

‘Complex’ sentences are not actually very complex; they are just two or more simple sentences put together. Putting them together makes the essay more coherent and cohesive.

Examples:

I really want to study but I’m too tired.

I wore a warm coat because the weather was cold.

If action is not taken soon on climate change, global warming will get worse.

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8
Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
3
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
2
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 4.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 7.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 6.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 7.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

4 paragraphs

272 words

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Topic Vocabulary:

Opportunities
Growth
Innovation
Challenges
Self-discovery
Resilience
Uncertainty
Consequences
Calculated risks
Stagnation
Regret
Comfort zone
Entrepreneurship
Adventurous spirit
Thriving
Failure
Mitigate
Reap the rewards

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It is important for people to take risks, both in their professional lives and their personal lives. Do you think the advantages of taking risks outweigh the disadvantages?

Use a variety of complex and simple sentences

In some countries, more and more people are hiring a personal fitness trainer, rather than playing sports or doing exercise classes.

Many people try to achieve success through their career or education. What can success mean to different people? What is your view of success?

Some people think that the government should provide free education at every level. However, some say that individuals should pay for their university education. Discuss both views and give your opinion.

Many countries have now banned smoking in public places. Some people feel that government should ban smoking entirely. Do you agree or disagree?

In some countries, owing a home rather than renting one is very important for people. Why might this be the case? Do you think this is a positive or negative situation?