IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 5.5

Some people think that the increase in international travel has a negative impact on the environment and should be restricted. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this opinion? #237(1)

Travelling abroad is now easier than in the past, which has led some people to worry about its impact on the environment and argue that international
flights
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 should be restricted. I totally agree with
this
Linking Words
 idea, as the increase
of
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in
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flights
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 contributes to
air
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 pollution, and many
tourists
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 cause damage to local areas. First and foremost, aeroplanes have contributed to climate change through the fuel they use, which releases greenhouse gases. When there are too many commercial
flights
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 operating
subsequently
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, the level of
air
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 pollution increases, worsening the effects on the environment.
For instance
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, a survey has shown that the
air
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 quality index in residential areas near airports
have
Correct subject-verb agreement
has
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 decreased around 10% each year.
As a result
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, residents struggle to breathe clean
air
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, and some are even forced to wear masks
in
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on
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 a daily basis.
Furthermore
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, many
tourists
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 often lead to overcrowding and irresponsible behaviour, which can damage local areas. The easy access to visas and travel tickets around the world enables individuals to travel more frequently, particularly to destinations that are cheaper than their home countries. In Bali,
for example
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, local
inhabitans
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inhabitants
 feel disturbed by Western
tourists
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 during temple prayers.
Although
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 regulations are in place, it becomes difficult to enforce them when tourist numbers are too high.
Therefore
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, to ensure
convience
Correct your spelling
convenience
 for all, restricting international
flights
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 should be seriously considered. In conclusion,
although
Linking Words
 travelling abroad offers cultural experiences and stress relief, it should be restricted to those whose travel is truly essential.
This
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 would ensure that only individuals who have valid reasons can go abroad, prevent
tourists
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overcrowding
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from overcrowding
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in
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apply
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certain places, and reduce the environmental burden caused by flight traffic.

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Task Response
Your introduction clearly expresses your opinion, which is good. However, consider adding a sentence that outlines the main points you will discuss in your essay. This helps the reader know what to expect.
Coherence and Cohesion
You have logical paragraphs, but try to enhance the connection between ideas. Use linking words like 'firstly,' 'in addition,' and 'for example' more consistently to improve flow.
Task Response
While your examples are relevant, adding more specific facts or statistics can strengthen your points. Try to include at least one specific example in each paragraph to make your argument stronger.
Positive Point
Your essay has a strong opinion, and you support it well with examples.
Positive Point
Your conclusion is clear and summarizes your main points well, which brings your argument to a satisfying end.
Topic Vocabulary:
  • carbon footprint
  • biodiversity
  • ecosystem
  • sustainable travel
  • eco-friendly
  • carbon emissions
  • habitat destruction
  • cultural dilution
  • overcrowding
  • resource depletion
  • sustainable
  • environmental impact
  • tourism ethics
  • green initiatives
  • conservation efforts
What to do next:
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