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Writing Samples
Band 7

The chart below illustrates the primary factors influencing students’ decisions to attend a particular university in the UK in the years 1995 and 2005. Summarize the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.

The chart below illustrates the primary factors influencing students’ decisions to attend a particular university in the UK in the years 1995 and 2005. Summarize the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.
The bar chart illustrates information about why
students
Use synonyms
 chose a particular
university
Use synonyms
 in the UK in the two years: 1995 and 2005.
Overall
Linking Words
, most
students
Use synonyms
 attended
this
Linking Words
university
Use synonyms
 because it provided suitable degree courses. There was a significant difference between 1995 and 2005 in the factors of extracurricular activities and the distance from their parental home. In 1995, the factor that accounted for 35%
students
Use synonyms
' decisions to study at
this
Linking Words
university
Use synonyms
 was the suitability of its degree courses, which was almost double that of the
students
Use synonyms
 who attended because of good sports and social activities. Notably, the quality of study resources comprised more than 20% of the deciding reasons, 5% more than the lowest:
distance
Correct article usage
the distance
show examples
 to their families. In 2005, the ratio of
students
Use synonyms
 choosing to attend
this
Linking Words
university
Use synonyms
due to
Linking Words
 suitable programs grew to 37%,
in contrast
Linking Words
 to a 5% decline in the percentage of those who opted for good resources. Strikingly, the reason for distance increased significantly to become the second-most-chosen reason, with 22%, double its figure 10 years ago.
In contrast
Linking Words
, the reason for good extracurricular activities dropped from 18% to 6%, making it the least-influenced factor. Over the past decade, the proportion of
students
Use synonyms
 attending
this
Linking Words
university
Use synonyms
 for its teaching quality increased by 3% pẻrcentage points.

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Sentences: Add more complex sentences.
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Linking words: Don't use the same linking words: "in contrast".
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Vocabulary: Replace the words students, university with synonyms.
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Vocabulary: Rephrase the word "illustrates" in your introduction.
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Vocabulary: Rephrase the word "information" in your introduction.
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Vocabulary: The word "increased" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "significant" was used 2 times.
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