IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 4.5

15.Nowadays it is very popular to be technology/internet literate. Some people say that these skills will replace the use of books as the main source of information and entertainment. Do you agree or disagree?

In today's fast-paced world, with the prevalence of technological devices for reading, some individuals believe that advanced technology can replace the physical book as the main source of information. From my perspective, I totally disagree with
this
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 view
and
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, and
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 the supporting reason will be given throughout
this
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 essay.
To begin
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 with, it is undeniable that virtual means of accessing knowledge
has
Correct subject-verb agreement
have
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 brought various advantages. One of them is that it allows users to access knowledge in all conditions because it
informs
Wrong verb form
can be accessed from
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a
Correct article usage
any
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file
Check wording
device
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 and can be
normally opened
Correct word order
opened normally
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 by smart devices.
For example
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,
instead
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 of going to the library or buying
books
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 for reading, people can read
books
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 on online websites without any charges.
However
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, reading
books
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 on digital devices is temporary because reading for long hours can lead to some eye problems
due to
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 the emission of blue light
on
Change preposition
from
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 the
computers’
Fix the agreement mistake
computer’
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 screen.
On the other hand
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, cyber
books
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 can not replace the role of physical assessment of knowledge. The first reason is that reading
on
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apply
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a physical book possibly has the assurance of information accuracy
which
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, which
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 is rarely applied in online
books
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 since a book has to experience strict content moderation before publishing into the market.
Furthermore
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, reading physical
books
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 could offer more sense of concentration and motivation rather than online
due to
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 the much less distraction
form
Use the right word
from
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utilises on
Verb problem
using
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 smartphones.
For instance
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, research from Hanoi University found that students studying with paper
books
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 can gain more concentration during the lecture
rather
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apply
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than those using virtual ones. In conclusion, despite various advantages of using online
books
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such
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, such
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 as flexibility in accessing, it cannot replace the role of paper
books
Use synonyms
 in human life because reading from the screen for long hours results in eye problems and reduces the concentration among readers.

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Task Achievement
Try to make your main points clearer and stronger. Explain each point in more detail.
Coherence and Cohesion
Use linking words like 'firstly', 'next', and 'finally' to make your ideas flow better.
Coherence and Cohesion
Check your grammar and sentence structures to avoid mistakes that could confuse the reader.
Task Achievement
You present a clear opinion in your introduction and conclusion.
Task Achievement
You provide examples to support your points, which is good for understanding.
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