Everyone faces challenges in life, whether academic, personal, or professional. Some people believe that learning how to solve problems is more important than gaining theoretical knowledge. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

To begin
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with, people often face many problems throughout their lives. One of the problems that I encountered was having a poor relationship with my lecturers. That affects my grades. My
GPA
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was 3.2 through the first three semesters.
In addition
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, I made a lot of comparisons with my colleagues in class. I felt bad because I did not make progress in university. I tried a lot to solve that problem, but I failed many times to improve my
GPA
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.
Then
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,
while
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I was watching a YouTube video, I came across an advertisement talking about the idea of having a mentor in your life.
Next,
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I contact the sponsor and tell him my problem. After that, I joined him in a Zoom meeting. I suggested different solutions,
such
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as using mind maps to memorise visual material, and he told me how to apply spaced repetition to my studies.
Additionally
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, he said that I need to improve my English skills to improve my fluency when I make a presentation.
Finally
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, he advised me to set a motivation to be driven toward my goals. In conclusion, I applied his advice. It helped me a lot to improve my
GPA
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. I tried to make new friends. Not only did I make new friends, but I
also
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built a good relationship with my lecturers. My
GPA
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increased from 3.2 to 3.6 after studying for a year and a half.

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task achievement
Your essay has a clear conclusion that summarizes your main points. However, make sure to directly state your opinion on the topic in the introduction and conclusion, as this is important for clarity.
coherence and cohesion
Try to organize your ideas in a more logical order. Each paragraph should focus on one main idea. This will help your essay flow better for the reader.
task achievement
Use more specific examples that relate directly to the topic. This will make your arguments stronger and show your understanding of the theme.
coherence and cohesion
Add linking words (like 'firstly', 'moreover', and 'finally') to help connect your ideas and make transitions smoother. This improves coherence and flow.
examples
You provided personal experiences, which add a unique touch to your essay and help illustrate your points.
achievement
You made a clear improvement in your GPA, demonstrating the effectiveness of solving problems and seeking help.

Structure your answers in logical paragraphs

The easiest way to score well on the IELTS Task 2 writing portion is to structure your writing in a solid essay format.

A strong argument essay structure can be split up into 4 paragraphs, each containing 4 sentences (except the conclusion paragraph, which only contains 3 sentences).

Stick to this essay structure:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
What to do next:
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