IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 4.5

Most people pay taxes to contribute to the development of their country, however, some think they have other responsibilities rather than paying taxes. Discuss both view and give your opinion.

It is often argued that
taxes
Use synonyms
 are paid for the development of a country,
while
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 others believe that it is not necessary to pay them
,
Punctuation problem
;
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people
Use synonyms
 claim they have more responsibilities.
This
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 essay will discuss
both
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 perspectives before stating my own opinion
which
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, which
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 supports a balanced way for the benefit of
both
Use synonyms
 sides. On the one hand, A significant
amount
Check wording
number
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 of
people
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supports
Correct subject-verb agreement
support
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 that citizens should contribute
with
Change preposition
to
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government
Correct article usage
the government
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 in order to develop their country by paying
taxes
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. One main reason is that there are many facilities available for citizens to help them improve their quality of life
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such
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, such
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 as hospitals and medicines.
Moreover
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, we know that some
people
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 received good services in return for the
taxes
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.
Additionally
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, governments do their best to enhance streets and lighting, so
this
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 small enhancement will result in public safety.
On the other hand
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, others argue that they have more responsibilities that have more priority than paying
taxes
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. They believe that they have a lack of money for the
basics
Fix the agreement mistake
basic
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 things that support their lives.
For instance
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, children's education demands a lot of money to motivate children to go to school without feeling ashamed.
Moreover
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, children need many tools to support their projects for science and art. In my opinion,
while
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both
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 sides have valid arguments, I believe that a balance between
both
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 views will increase the benefit for them," low
taxes
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 " will help
government
Correct article usage
the government
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, and individuals.
This
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 is because
government
Correct article usage
the government
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 alone cannot offer
better
Correct article usage
a better
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 quality
life
Change preposition
of life
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 for their
people
Use synonyms
 without their help, especially for countries with limited resources. In conclusion,
although
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 there are convincing arguments on
both
Use synonyms
 sides, I personally believe that lower
taxes
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 are better than nothing.
Ultimately
Punctuation problem
Ultimately,
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 mutual benefit will be more effective for
both
Use synonyms
sided
Replace the word
sides
show examples
.

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coherence and cohesion
Make sure each paragraph has a clear main idea. This will help your readers follow your argument better.
coherence and cohesion
Use more linking words (like 'firstly', 'however', 'for example') to help connect your ideas and make your essay flow better.
task achievement
Provide more specific examples to support your points. This makes your argument stronger and more convincing.
task achievement
You presented both sides of the argument, which shows a good understanding of the topic.
coherence and cohesion
Your opinion is clear in the conclusion, which is important for the reader to understand your position.
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