IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 6

There are more and more vehicles in front of our houses, which is very dangerous for cyclists and pedestrians. Besides, many gardens have to make way for highways or expressways. How can we make everyone satisfied?

Murphy’s law says, “If you try to satisfy everyone, somebody will be dissatisfied.” In
this
Linking Words
 essay, the above issue will be dealt with in terms of people’s needs, developmental requirements, and the planning of
cities
Use synonyms
.
First,
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environmental psychologists have proved that people living in
cities
Use synonyms
 need to experience nature in some way or another.
For example
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, it was found that children who are born and grow up in “concrete jungles” and do not have the opportunity to play on lawns, climb trees, or see and smell flowers and plants once in a
while
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 develop higher levels of aggression than those kids who do have
such
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 opportunities.
Second,
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cities
Use synonyms
 are places where commerce and industry are concentrated.
This
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 results in the need for many vehicles to move around and to do so quickly. For
this
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, a network of roads, highways, freeways, and bypasses needs to be built. These take up a lot of space in our
cities
Use synonyms
.
Lastly
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, it is always difficult to change situations in existing
cities
Use synonyms
. When planning new
cities
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,
however
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, we are able to ensure that the needs of the people
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as
Punctuation problem
, as
show examples
 well as commerce and
industry
Punctuation problem
industry,
show examples
 are met. When they are educated at universities, city planners should be made aware of everyone’s needs and trained to solve problems. So I have briefly looked at the needs of people and
business
Fix the agreement mistake
businesses
show examples
 and what has to be done in the future.
To conclude
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, it could be said that we have to learn from the mistakes of the past to build better
cities
Use synonyms
 in the future.

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Task Achievement
Make sure you answer all parts of the question clearly and thoroughly.
Task Achievement
Use more specific examples to support your points and make your ideas clearer.
Coherence and Cohesion
Try to improve the flow by using more linking words between sentences.
Coherence and Cohesion
Clearly state your main points in the introduction.
Coherence and Cohesion
You have a strong introduction and conclusion that bring a clear message.
Task Achievement
Your ideas are mostly relevant to the topic.

Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

  • Summary
  • Restatement of thesis
  • Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

  • In conclusion
  • To conclude
  • To summarize
  • Finally
  • In a nutshell
  • In general

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