IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 4.5

The popularity of social media has led to a rise in “Instagram tourism”, where people travel to destinations primarily for the purpose of taking photos and sharing them online. Discuss the causes and effects of this trend.

The social
Correct determiner usage
Social
show examples
media
Use synonyms
 has
play
Replace the word
played
show examples
 a crucial role in people's
life style
Use the right word
lifestyle
show examples
, as there is
an
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
evidence that most
of
Change preposition
apply
show examples
people prefer to have
expedition
Correct article usage
an expedition
show examples
,
with
Change preposition
apply
show examples
aiming to share their outcomes in
virtual
Correct article usage
the virtual
show examples
 world through
application
Fix the agreement mistake
applications
show examples
 like
instgrarm
Correct your spelling
Instagram
.
This
Linking Words
 essay will explore the reasons behind
this
Linking Words
 issue and the
concequences
Correct your spelling
consequences
 which will be affected by
these
Fix the agreement mistake
this
show examples
 problem.
one
Fix capitalization
One
show examples
 of the major reasons is that most
of
Change preposition
apply
show examples
individuals are
into enter
Wrong verb form
entering
show examples
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
social
media
Use synonyms
 for its financial benefits. In essence, there are several opportunities for those unemployed
memebers
Correct your spelling
members
, who are trapped in their comfort zone without any source of income. One instance that exemplifies
this
Linking Words
 is that most
of
Change preposition
apply
show examples
bloggers
as
Punctuation problem
, as
show examples
a
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
visitor
Fix the agreement mistake
visitors
show examples
, provide their followers with a fair number of posts from
a
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
diverse parts of their hometown just to increase the possibility of their salary from social
media
Use synonyms
 like
You tube
Use the right word
YouTube
show examples
 or
instagram
Fix capitalization
Instagram
show examples
.
Thus
Linking Words
, it could be attractive if most
of
Change preposition
apply
show examples
people
spended
Correct your spelling
spent
 their leisure time to indicate their local areas to earn a living.
Main
Correct article usage
The main
show examples
 consequence of the mentioned reason, which should be
considered
Punctuation problem
considered,
show examples
 is promoting tourists' information awareness that might
have
Verb problem
apply
show examples
be beneficial to attract more visitors in the future. To elaborate, the accessibility to most of the virgin areas,
where
Correct word choice
which
show examples
 they left untouched, might offer
to
Change preposition
apply
show examples
many travellers to desire to
have
Verb problem
apply
show examples
a
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
visit, resulting in the growth of
tourism
Correct article usage
the tourism
show examples
 industry. To exemplify,
chiniese
Correct your spelling
Chinese
 bloggers
,
Punctuation problem
apply
show examples
 try their best to show their
unspoild
Correct your spelling
unspoiled
 parts of their country
in
Change preposition
on
show examples
facebook
Fix capitalization
Facebook
show examples
 to
absorb
Verb problem
attract
show examples
 many guests from
four
Correct determiner usage
all
show examples
 corners of the world.
Therefore
Linking Words
, advertising in social
media
Use synonyms
 can be beneficial, not only have advantages for unemployed
peoplem
Correct your spelling
people
 but tourist attractions can benefit from it.
To sum up
Linking Words
,
however
Linking Words
, the popularity of social
media
Use synonyms
have
Correct subject-verb agreement
has
show examples
 increased for earning money, I concur with the
view point
Use the right word
viewpoint
show examples
 that
this
Linking Words
 activity could be positive in many aspects
like
Punctuation problem
, like
show examples
,
Punctuation problem
apply
show examples
 rising in
tourists'
Fix the agreement mistake
tourist'
show examples
 attraction activities,
lead
Wrong verb form
leading
show examples
 to
rasing
Use the right word
raising
show examples
 public
spendings
Fix the agreement mistake
spending
show examples
.

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Task Response
The introduction should clearly state the main points and the purpose of the essay. Make sure to explain the topic in a straightforward way.
Coherence and Cohesion
Use clear topic sentences for each paragraph to guide your reader. Ensure each paragraph flows logically from one to the next.
Task Response
More specific examples of Instagram tourism incidents could strengthen your points. Try to include data or case studies to make your argument stronger.
Task Achievement
You identified a relevant topic and discussed its causes and effects, showing good understanding of the prompt.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »- a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

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