IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 4.5

Some people say that there is too much harmful content on the internet. They say the only way to make the internet safe is for the government to censor the content of websites. To what extent do you think the government should control what information is available on the internet? Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

Some people believe that there
are
Correct subject-verb agreement
is
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many
Fix the agreement mistake
much
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 impropriate
content
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 spreading on the
internet
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. They claim
one
Correct word choice
that one
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 solution
can
Correct pronoun usage
that can
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 be achieved is
the
Correct word choice
that the
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government
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 should censor the
content
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 of websites.
This
Linking Words
 essay will discuss the reasons why I believe the
government
Use synonyms
 should have significant control over the
information
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 available on the
internet
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 and provide relevant examples.
To begin
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 with, many harmful
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content
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contents
show examples
 can affect children's development since pupils are fast
learner
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learners
show examples
.
In other words
Linking Words
, they can quickly absorb the
information
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 that they see on the
internet
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.
For example
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, many harmful contents are tailored with animation, making it harder to detect. If
these
Fix the agreement mistake
this
show examples
content
Use synonyms
are
Correct subject-verb agreement
is
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 watched without
parent's
Check wording
parents'
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 supervision, it will damage their character growth, resulting in anti-social
behavior
Use the right word
behaviour
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. Another example is
many
Correct word choice
that many
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under-age
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underage
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 crimes happen because children watch excessive crime
contents
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content
show examples
 on
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internet
Correct article usage
the internet
show examples
. To eradicate
this
Linking Words
 problem, the
government
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 should collaborate with parents to provide
content
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 based on children’s age. Another reason is related to fake
news
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. In many urban
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society
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societies
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, people are often easily
trust
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trusting
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 unreliable sources without
double check
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double-checking
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 the
information
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. Some misleading
information
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 can trigger
dispute
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disputes
show examples
 in
society
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.
For Instance
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, many untrusted
news
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 platforms often repost fake
news
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 to engage viewers. They often focus only on earning revenue without taking care
the
Change preposition
of the
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 detrimental effects
to
Change preposition
on
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the
Correct article usage
apply
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society
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. The way forward is
the
Correct word choice
that the
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government
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 should develop
system
Correct article usage
a system
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 that can filter all the untrusted
news
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platform
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platforms
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 and impose strict laws against false
news
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. In conclusion, many harmful contents can affect children's
behavior
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behaviour
show examples
 and create
misunderstanding
Fix the agreement mistake
misunderstandings
show examples
 in
society
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.
mitigating
Fix capitalization
Mitigating
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this
Linking Words
 issue can be done by collaborating with parents and
create
Wrong verb form
creating
show examples
 systems and laws that can control these unreliable sources on the
internet
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.

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task achievement
The introduction should clearly state your main points and reasons. Try to directly express your stance on the topic.
coherence and cohesion
Use linking words to help ideas flow better between sentences and paragraphs. For example, words like 'firstly,' 'in addition,' and 'however' can guide the reader.
task achievement
Make sure every point is well explained and supported by clear examples. Sometimes, ideas are not fully explained, which can confuse the reader.
content
You have good ideas about the effects of harmful content on children and society.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »- a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Topic Vocabulary:
  • Censorship
  • Freedom of expression
  • Hate speech
  • Misinformation
  • Extremism
  • Regulations
  • Cyberbullying
  • Self-regulation
  • Transparency
  • Vulnerable groups
  • Algorithms
  • Digital culture
  • Personal freedoms
  • Illegal content
  • Internet safety
What to do next:
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