The bar chart below shows the numbers of men and women attending various evening courses at an adult education centre in the year 2009. The pie chart gives information about the ages of these course participants.

The bar chart below shows the numbers of men and women attending various evening courses at an adult education centre in the year 2009. The pie chart gives information about the ages of these course participants.
IELTS Writing Task Chart for The bar chart below shows the numbers of men and women attending various evening courses at an adult education centre in the year 2009. The pie chart gives information about the ages of these course participants.
The bar chart below compares figures for
men
Use synonyms
and women participating
various
Change preposition
in various
show examples
evening courses at
Adult
Correct article usage
the Adult
show examples
Education
Center
Use the right word
Centre
show examples
in 2009. The pie chart illustrates the age of these
people
Use synonyms
.
Overall
Linking Words
,
highest
Correct article usage
the highest
show examples
number of female
participants
Use synonyms
were
Correct subject-verb agreement
was
show examples
recorded for a language
course
Use synonyms
,
while
Linking Words
Use synonyms
men's
Check wording
apply
show examples
highest
attending
Use the right word
highest-attended
show examples
course
Use synonyms
was painting.The largest portion of
people
Use synonyms
were aged 50 or over.
In contrast
Linking Words
, the smallest portion of the
participants
Use synonyms
were
Correct subject-verb agreement
was
show examples
aged under 20. 25
men
Use synonyms
participated in
painting
Correct article usage
the painting
show examples
course
Use synonyms
, which was the highest figure recorded for
males
Fix the agreement mistake
male
show examples
participants
Use synonyms
.
In contrast
Linking Words
, only 10
men
Use synonyms
attended in drama
course
Use synonyms
.
Similarly
Linking Words
, sculpture
which
Correct pronoun usage
apply
show examples
was
accounted
Verb problem
considered
show examples
the least interesting
course
Use synonyms
for
men
Use synonyms
. The largest share of
people
Use synonyms
were aged 50 or more, with a rate of 42%.
Second
Correct article usage
The second
show examples
highest portion of
people
Use synonyms
were aged 40 to 49 years old, and the percentage of
people
Use synonyms
in their 20s and 30s
are
Correct subject-verb agreement
is
show examples
11 and 16
respectively
Punctuation problem
, respectively
show examples
.
Participants
Use synonyms
aged under 20 were the least interested in courses
showing
Punctuation problem
, showing
show examples
less than 10% of
people
Use synonyms
.

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site's author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Linking words: Don't use the same linking words: "in contrast".
Vocabulary: Replace the words men, people, participants, course with synonyms.
Vocabulary: The word "chart" was used 2 times.
Vocabulary: The word "figures" was used 2 times.
Vocabulary: The word "figures" was used 2 times.
Topic Vocabulary:
  • attendance
  • participant
  • adult education
  • distribution
  • proportion
  • engaged
  • trend
  • mid-career
  • popularity
  • speculate
  • job-oriented
  • creative courses
  • leisure aspect
  • enroll
  • correlation
  • inclined
  • career-oriented
  • hobby-related
  • literacy
  • technical skills
What to do next:
Look at other essays: