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Writing Samples
Band 6.5

The graph below shows the number of shops that closed and the number of new shops that opened in one country between 2011 and 2018

The graph below shows the number of shops that closed and the number of new shops that opened in one country between 2011 and 2018
The given line graph illustrates the
number
Use synonyms
 of closures and
openings
Use synonyms
 of shops in a country from 2011 to 2018.
Overall
Linking Words
,
drammatically
Correct your spelling
dramatically
less
Fix the agreement mistake
fewer
show examples
 markets were opening by the final year compared to the
beggining
Correct your spelling
beginning
.
Simillarly
Correct your spelling
Similarly
,
clousures
Correct your spelling
closures
 saw a negative trend, but not that sharp.
While
Linking Words
 new shops were created more at the start, shop closures became more frequent
at the end
Linking Words
 In terms of
clousures
Correct your spelling
closures
, the
number
Use synonyms
 was lower than the
number
Use synonyms
 of
openings
Use synonyms
, being between 6000 and 7000. It
consequently
Linking Words
 decreased to just above 6000 in 2012 and climbed to over 7000 a year later. Later, it hit
the
Correct article usage
a
show examples
 low of less than 1000 by 2015 and fell behind
openings
Use synonyms
, but recovered to
slighly
Correct your spelling
slightly
 more than 5000 in 2016. Afterwards, it remained
relatevely
Correct your spelling
relatively
 stable
untill
Correct your spelling
until
 the end.
On the other hand
Linking Words
, the
number
Use synonyms
 of
openings
Use synonyms
 was around 8500 in 2011, but
plummeted
Correct pronoun usage
it plummeted
show examples
 in 2012 to nearly 4000, becoming lower than the
number
Use synonyms
 of closings.
Then
Linking Words
, it steadily
rised
Correct your spelling
rose
 for two years and reached about 6000. A new drop followed in 2015, with the
number
Use synonyms
 being 4000.
Openings
Use synonyms
platoed
Correct your spelling
plateaued
 for two years, but eventually
underwent
Verb problem
apply
show examples
fall
Replace the word
fell
show examples
 to 3000 in 2018.

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Vocabulary: Replace the words number, openings with synonyms.
▼
Vocabulary: Rephrase the word "number of" in your introduction.
▼
Vocabulary: The word "number of" was used 4 times.
▼
Vocabulary: The word "fell" was used 2 times.
▼
Topic Vocabulary:
  • trend
  • fluctuation
  • peak
  • decline
  • surge
  • stabilize
  • correlation
  • economic conditions
  • consumer behavior
  • technological advancements
  • urban development
  • employment
  • retail sector
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