Some people believe that the government should be responsible for public health, while others think that individuals should be responsible for their own health. Discuss both views and give your own opinion.

Health

Use synonyms

is one of the most important aspects of human life and a key indicator of a country’s development. Many people think that the government should be in charge of taking care of public

health

Use synonyms

while

Linking Words

others argue that individuals are responsible for their own fitness. In

this

Linking Words

essay, I will discuss both views and explain why I personally think that

government

Correct article usage

the government

show examples

is more responsible than the public. On one hand, those who support the idea that states, society members should be responsible

Change preposition

for

show examples

their strength have several reasons. The primary reason is that

Punctuation problem

apply

show examples

they are aware and mature enough to make their own decision whether they want to follow a healthy lifestyle or not. In fact, they

also

Linking Words

have the ability to try as many habits as possible until they discover the lifestyle that suits them to follow, without any external pressure.A study published by New York University in 2020 concluded that 90% of people who stay fit and strong are keeping up their productivity because they are passionate about what they are doing.

As a result

Linking Words

, Members of society will become more aware of the importance of

health

Use synonyms

due to

Linking Words

individuals'

effort

Fix the agreement mistake

efforts

show examples

On the other hand

Linking Words

,others oppose that idea and believe that authorities play a major role in making changes in public

health

Use synonyms

. They can raise citizens' awareness towards the importance of

health

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in many different ways.

Firstly

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, by launching campaigns that prioritise the idea of staying in shape and doing exercises.

Secondly

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,schools should increase physical activity for the youngsters.

Thirdly

Linking Words

, governmental ministries have to build

health

Use synonyms

clubs so that all population can benefit.

Therefore

Linking Words

, states should keep up the hard work. In conclusion, all views have their merits. In my opinion, I see that authorities have a remarkable impact on their population more than individuals have on each other.

raniiiia184

Jul 21, 2025

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task achievement

Try to provide clearer examples to support your points.

coherence and cohesion

Make sure your paragraphs have a clear main idea that connects logically to the others.

coherence and cohesion

Vary your sentence structure to make your writing more interesting.

task achievement

You clearly stated both views in the introduction.

coherence and cohesion

The essay has a clear structure with an introduction, main body, and conclusion.

Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

Examples make your writing easier to understand by illustrating points more effectively.

Examples, if used properly, not only help you get higher marks for ‘Task Response’ but also for ‘Coherence’.

When giving examples it is best to put them after your main idea or topic sentence. They can be used in the middle of supporting sentences or they can be used to start a new sentence. There is no rule for where exactly to give examples in essays, logically they would come after your main idea/topic sentence or just after a supporting sentence.

Linking words for giving examples:

for example
for instance
to illustrate this
to give a clear example
such as
namely
to illustrate
take, for example

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10
Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
1
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
4
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 6.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 6.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 6.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

4 paragraphs

300 words

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Some people believe that the government should be responsible for public health, while others think that individuals should be responsible for their own health. Discuss both views and give your own opinion.

Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

Some people think that human needs for farmland, housing, and industry are more important than saving land for endangered animals. Do you agree or disagree with this point of view?

Write a letter to get a work experience certificate from employer

Some people say that advertising is extremely successful at persuading us to buy things. Other people think that advertising is so common that we no longer pay attention to it. Discuss both these views and give your own opinion.

Some people say that the best way to improve public health is by increasing the number of sports facilities. Others, however, say that this would have little effect on public health and that other measures are required. Discuss both these views and give your own opinion.