Some people think that governments of developing countries should introduce new technology to people to improve their quality of life, while others believe that they should provide free education. Discuss both these views and give your own opinion.
There is a belief that new
technology
should be introduced by the governments of developing countries
to help people increase their quality of life. Yet, others think that free education
is the highest priority that should be given to them.
The most important aspect for poor countries
is education
. This
is because if they have good knowledge, they can build new technology
by themselves and become independent countries
. For instance
, Korea was a developing country, but recently, it has grown so fast and become a rich country. Even though Korea does not have many natural resources, it regularly improves its education
and research
. As a result
, Korea has a higher annual income and faster financial growth than Indonesia, blessed with abundant natural resources. This
strategy can be implemented well if governments give free education
to their society.
Still, it is important to note that education
can be held better if governments provide good technology
. In addition
, sometimes new technology
is needed for this
. For example
, Indonesia still lacks equipment for component analysis, such
as GCMS, GCFID, FTIR, GPC, etc. Consequently
, a researcher cannot conduct the research
optimally. Therefore
, the growth of research
will be limited by the technology
provided or the facilities in the laboratories. This
affects the slow development of industry in the country and their quality of life.
In conclusion, the most important is education
because it can produce better people who can develop existing technology
or generate new technology
. However
, good technology
will give benefits to education
and research
. Thus
, both of them should be priorities for improving the quality of life of people living in developing countries
.Submitted by anonymous
on
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task response
Your essay presented a clear discussion of both views and included your own opinion, fulfilling the task requirements well. However, you could develop your ideas further and ensure full explanations and examples for each point made.
coherence and cohesion
Ensure each paragraph flows logically from one to the next. While your ideas are clearly presented, linking phrases (e.g., 'Moreover,' 'Furthermore') would enhance the coherence.
task response
Strengthen your supporting details in each paragraph to make your points more convincing. While examples provided are good, elaborating on them further would be beneficial.
task response
You addressed both views and included a clear conclusion, which is very important.
coherence and cohesion
Your essay has an engaging introduction and a strong conclusion, which ties back to your arguments well.
task response
Examples such as Korea and Indonesia were relevant and helped to support your arguments. Keep incorporating specific and relatable examples like these.
Your opinion
Don’t put your opinion unless you are asked to give it.
If the question asks what you think, you MUST give your opinion to get a good score.
Don’t leave your opinion until the conclusion.
Here are examples of instructions that require you to give your opinion:
...do you agree or disagree?...do you think...?...your opinion...?