Some people think that parents should teach their children how to be good members of society. Others, however, believe that school is the best place to learn this. Discuss both views and give your own opinion.

Some people claim that parents must
to
Verb problem
apply
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educate their
children
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for
Verb problem
to take
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steps to be good
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member
Fix the agreement mistake
members
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of
society
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. Others claim that going to
school
Use synonyms
is the best opportunity to obtain it. I strongly support that going to
school
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is
best
Correct article usage
the best
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decision to
do
Verb problem
make
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.
To begin
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with, parents should explain to their
children
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that
education
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in
school
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is essential for their future
In
Punctuation problem
. In
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school
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,
children
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will learn multiple things and become social. They will
also
Linking Words
learn crucial subjects like Science, Math, Geography and English.
Also
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,
children
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will build
friendship
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friendships
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of multiple nationalities. They will have full knowledge of what is happening in
world
Correct article usage
the world
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today, weather conditions, and literature.
For instance
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, my cousin is a
well known
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well-known
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scientist in his country. The main reason is that he was passionate about
education
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when he studied in
school
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. My cousin is an intelligent person and is eager to learn about something related to
education
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.
Moreover
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, some parents believe that they should instruct their
children
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on how to be good members of
society
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. They assume that being a good
member
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of
society
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is beneficial
due to
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their personality and reputation.
For instance
Linking Words
, my aunt is a politician. She is the best
member
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it her
society
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. My aunt has
strong
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a strong
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network of entrepreneurs, doctors, and mayors. Her life became easier, and people in her
society
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began to admire her. Everything she wants, she can get easily.
To conclude
Linking Words
, I would argue that focusing on
education
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is essential than being
good
Correct article usage
a good
show examples
member
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of
society
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.
Education
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is lifelong learning for those who are smart and
ambtious
Correct your spelling
ambitious
, but being
good
Correct article usage
a good
show examples
member
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of
society
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is temporary.

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task achievement
Your points are good, but sometimes they are not very clear. Try to explain your ideas more completely.
coherence
Make sure each paragraph has one clear main idea. It will help your reader follow your argument better.
cohesion
Try to use more linking words (like 'however', 'for example', 'on the other hand') to connect your ideas.
strength
You have a clear opinion and you support it well with examples.

Use a variety of complex and simple sentences

You should use complex sentences in your writing, but it does not mean that you should try to make all of our sentences complex.

‘Complex’ sentences are not actually very complex; they are just two or more simple sentences put together. Putting them together makes the essay more coherent and cohesive.

Examples:

I really want to study but I’m too tired.

I wore a warm coat because the weather was cold.

If action is not taken soon on climate change, global warming will get worse.

Topic Vocabulary:
  • good members of society
  • teach
  • parents
  • schools
  • responsibility
  • values
  • respect
  • empathy
  • responsibility
  • formal education
  • citizenship
  • ethics
  • social responsibility
  • lead by example
  • role models
  • conducive environment
  • extracurricular activities
  • community involvement
  • collaborate
  • holistic approach
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