Some people believe that money makes life easier and more comfortable. Others think that a large amount of wealth brings more trouble. Do the advantages of having a lot of money outweigh the disadvantages?

It is thought by some that having a lot of
money
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causes many problems, but others believe that being wealthy allows for an easy and comfortable
life
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.
Although
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a great amount of
money
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may bring certain problems, I personally believe that the advantages of being wealthy outweigh the disadvantages, as it provides access to a better
life
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. Having an excess amount of
money
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sometimes leads to security troubles. Since there is an unbalanced proportion of wealth in society, poor citizens tend to commit different types of crimes , like burglary or fraud. Because private houses are more vulnerable to trespassing, prosperous individuals and their families suffer the most from theft.
For example
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, recent statistics published by the government of a Central Asian country revealed that most of the crimes are committed by impoverished individuals.
However
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, I believe these security issues are quite manageable for the wealthy, as they can increase safety measures and hire guards.
On the other hand
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, the
life
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of an affluent person is full of joy and provides access to better goods and services. It is common nowadays that high-quality ordinary goods like cars and houses cost
money
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, and even basic services like healthcare or education need to be covered by expensive insurance.
For example
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, even in our country, people without monthly insurance payments cannot receive medical services in municipal hospitals.
Moreover
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, people with considerable financial resources are far less entangled in solving everyday
money
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-earning problems.
Consequently
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, they can dedicate more time to their families and personal interests to seize the moments of
life
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. For these reasons, wealthy people live a much easier and more comfortable
life
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. In conclusion, though having excess wealth may pose security issues, I firmly believe that the advantages of having a deep pocket clearly outweigh the disadvantages, since it provides various conveniences of
life
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.

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task achievement
Make sure to clearly define both sides of the argument in the introduction before stating your own opinion.
coherence and cohesion
Try to use more linking words (like 'however', 'moreover') to improve the flow of your essay.
task achievement
When giving examples, try to be a bit more specific about how wealth helps with comfort in daily life.
coherence and cohesion
The essay has a clear structure with a good introduction and conclusion.
task achievement
The arguments are logical and well thought out, showing both sides of the issue.

Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

  • Summary
  • Restatement of thesis
  • Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

  • In conclusion
  • To conclude
  • To summarize
  • Finally
  • In a nutshell
  • In general
Topic Vocabulary:
  • Financial security
  • Quality of life
  • Social isolation
  • Philanthropy
  • Wealth management
  • Material possessions
  • Economic stability
  • Opportunities
  • Excessive wealth
  • Exploitative relationships
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