IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 7

Some university students want to learn about other subject in addition to their main subjects. Other believe it is more important to give all their time and attention to study for a qualification. Discuss both view and give your opinion.

#university #students #addition #subjects #time #attention #study #qualification
✨ Do you want to improve your IELTS writing?
Growing interest in diverse
subjects
Use synonyms
 at
university
Use synonyms
 has been highlighted over the past decades. From
this
Linking Words
 aspect, some opine that
university
Use synonyms
students
Use synonyms
 want to learn about other
subjects
Use synonyms
in addition
Linking Words
 to their main
subjects
Use synonyms
 but others hold the view that it is more important to give all their time and attention to studying for a qualification.
This
Linking Words
 essay will explore both views and
then
Linking Words
 my personal opinion will be suggested. It is often pointed out that
university
Use synonyms
students
Use synonyms
 want to learn other modules
in addition
Linking Words
 to their main modules. Proponents of
this
Linking Words
 view argue that an expansion in academic
knowledge
Use synonyms
 occurs.
This
Linking Words
 is because
students
Use synonyms
 take part in additional
subject
Use synonyms
 classes and are more likely to gain a broader education compared to those who focus on their main
subject
Use synonyms
. What is more, a majority of companies prefer candidates who possess diverse
knowledge
Use synonyms
 and skills.
This
Linking Words
,
therefore
Linking Words
, brings about good job opportunities in versatile fields for future careers.
Nevertheless
Linking Words
, some opponents insist that devoting
students
Use synonyms
' time and attention to studying for a qualification is more significant.
although
Linking Words
 the difficulties of focusing on a specific
subject
Use synonyms
 cannot be overlooked,
students
Use synonyms
 highly experience advantages. A pertinent example of
this
Linking Words
 is that they can concentrate on a specific module without the distraction of additional modules.
This
Linking Words
 obviously leads them to invest sufficient time and effort in studying for a qualification and
this
Linking Words
 in turn encourages an improvement in academic performance and expertise. To recapitulate, I believe that
university
Use synonyms
students
Use synonyms
 want to learn about other
subjects
Use synonyms
in addition
Linking Words
 to their main
subject
Use synonyms
 because an expansion in academic
knowledge
Use synonyms
 occurs and a majority of companies prefer candidates who possess diverse
knowledge
Use synonyms
 and skills.
Thus
Linking Words
,
university
Use synonyms
students
Use synonyms
 should strive to gain higher academic performance in both
subjects
Use synonyms
 and
then
Linking Words
 they will choose suitable careers for the future.
Submitted by subin12260 on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

task achievement
To improve your essay's task response, provide more specific examples and evidence to support your points. This will strengthen your arguments and make your essay more convincing.
coherence cohesion
Enhance coherence by ensuring smoother transitions between your paragraphs and main points. This will make your essay easier to follow and more cohesive.
task achievement
You have addressed both views clearly and provided a personal opinion, fully responding to the task.
coherence cohesion
Your introduction and conclusion are well-developed, providing a clear start and finish to your essay.
coherence cohesion
Your essay demonstrates logical structure with well-developed paragraphs, each focusing on distinct points.

Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

  • Summary
  • Restatement of thesis
  • Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

  • In conclusion
  • To conclude
  • To summarize
  • Finally
  • In a nutshell
  • In general

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

What to do next:
Look at other essays: