Some university students want to learn about other subjects in addition to their main subjects. Others believe it is more important to give all their time and attention to studying for a qualification. Discuss both these views and give your own opinion.

✨ Do you want to improve your IELTS writing?
Taking extra
curriculum
Use synonyms
regardless of
students
Use synonyms
' personal discipline has been a vital topic of debate.
While
Linking Words
some people believe that
students
Use synonyms
, who are interested in being educated in different subjects, should have freedom, others would argue that it is essential for
students
Use synonyms
to just focus on their personal subjects.
Although
Linking Words
both sides of the argument highlight important issues which will be discussed, followed by my view. First of all, taking extra
curriculum
Use synonyms
can lead to various benefits for both
students
Use synonyms
and universities.
Therefore
Linking Words
, if
students
Use synonyms
are interested in pursuing different
courses
Use synonyms
, it will result in obtaining higher knowledge. A prime illustration of
this
Linking Words
is a college student who enrols in different subjects
such
Linking Words
as art and technology
while
Linking Words
her personal discipline is math. So, if she could dedicate specific time to take all of these
courses
Use synonyms
, she would
finally
Linking Words
feel
overall
Linking Words
fulfilment and a proud sense of pride.
Moreover
Linking Words
, some
students
Use synonyms
are inherently enabled to take extra
curriculum
Use synonyms
due to
Linking Words
the fact that, they are more intelligent compared to their peers.
On the other hand
Linking Words
, making an effort to achieve success in professional discipline can significantly result in higher success in the future.
For instance
Linking Words
, consider a student who has just taken and studied her professional
courses
Use synonyms
over the years. So, if she wants to take a career, she might be more successful compared to those who take different
courses
Use synonyms
without
deep
Correct article usage
a deep
show examples
understanding. In conclusion, there are various opinions about taking extra
curriculum
Use synonyms
.
While
Linking Words
some individuals believe that it is essential to study in the main course, others believe that taking extra
courses
Use synonyms
can lead to a variety of benefits
such
Linking Words
as obtaining higher knowledge. I firmly advocate the latest view and believe that
students
Use synonyms
should have the freedom to enrol in different
courses
Use synonyms
that they are interested in.
Submitted by mahanz on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

coherence cohesion
To enhance the logical structure, consider using clear transition phrases between your paragraphs and ideas. This will help the reader follow your argument more easily and strengthen your essay's coherence.
task achievement
Your essay could be further improved by providing more detailed examples or elaborating on the examples already used. For instance, when discussing the benefits of studying multiple disciplines, providing specific real-world scenarios could make your argument more persuasive.
task achievement
You have successfully presented both views of the argument clearly, showcasing a balanced analysis. This demonstrates strong task achievement.
coherence cohesion
Your introduction and conclusion are well-structured, setting a clear framework for your essay. They effectively present your personal view, which is an essential part of the task.
Topic Vocabulary:
  • Broaden
  • Perspectives
  • Specialize
  • Critical thinking
  • Problem-solving skills
  • Career success
  • Interdisciplinary connections
  • Structured path
  • Clear goals
  • Creativity
  • Innovation
  • Academic credibility
  • Recognition
  • Balance
  • Exploring
What to do next:
Look at other essays: