Some people say the government should give healthcare the first priority, some others believe there are more important priorities to spend the taxpayers' money. Discuss both views and give your opinion

Some
people
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argue that
healthcare
Use synonyms
should be the first necessity for spending
taxes
Use synonyms
by the government.
On the other hand
Linking Words
, others say it should not be the priority. I believe,
while
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there
are
Change the verb form
is
show examples
variety
Add an article
a variety
show examples
of important needs,
health
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should be the most significant one. It cannot be denied that
high
Correct article usage
a high
show examples
quality of life mostly depends on
strong
Correct article usage
a strong
show examples
healthcare
Use synonyms
system
for
Change preposition
in
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the
Correct article usage
apply
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countries.
Additionaly
Correct your spelling
Additionally
, the reason for paying
taxes
Use synonyms
is providing a good life quality and
improve
Wrong verb form
improving
show examples
people
Use synonyms
's
lifes
Correct your spelling
lives
.
Therefore
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,
taxpayer
Check wording
apply
show examples
individuals
Fix the agreement mistake
individual
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expect
Check wording
taxpayers expect
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more
improvments
Correct your spelling
improvements
in the
health
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system and put it
to
Change preposition
as
show examples
the
Correct pronoun usage
their
show examples
first priority.
For instance
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,
healthcare
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is
Verb problem
apply
show examples
account
Fix the agreement mistake
accounts
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for almost %60 of the total tax expenditure in one of the most developed countries, Denmark.
This
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example
give
Correct subject-verb agreement
gives
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us a clear
understading
Correct your spelling
understanding
on
Change preposition
of
show examples
this
Linking Words
issue.
Health
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always
Verb problem
is always
show examples
prior
Rephrase
more
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to than other needs.
On the other hand
Linking Words
, some
people
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believe there are more significant
requirments
Correct your spelling
requirements
to spend the
taxes
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Linking Words
such
Punctuation problem
, such
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as in search of fresh water resources, education and science.
While
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it is true to say that the priorities are totally different for each person,
actually
Rephrase
apply
show examples
without a strong
health
Use synonyms
system, these issues become less important immediately.
However
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, the
people
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who
claims
Correct subject-verb agreement
claim
show examples
these needs should be
prior
Use the right word
prioritised
show examples
, mostly
live
Wrong verb form
living
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the developed countries and
get
Wrong verb form
getting
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excellent
health
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services. In conclusion, from the
begining
Correct your spelling
beginning
of humanity,
health
Use synonyms
was always the most significant issue for each civilisation.
Therefore
Linking Words
, the government should aim to develop
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
healthcare
Use synonyms
by using
taxes
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.
While
Linking Words
there are
variety
Correct article usage
a variety
show examples
of matters which can be solved by taxpayers' money, most
of
Change preposition
apply
show examples
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
people
Use synonyms
believe
health
Use synonyms
is always first.

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task achievement
Your introduction should clearly state both views and your opinion more explicitly. Consider rephrasing your thesis statement to clarify your position.
coherence cohesion
Make sure to use simple and clear connections between your ideas. Use linking words better to guide the reader through your arguments.
task achievement
Try to add more specific examples that show how health affects other sectors, and think about including a counter-argument to enhance the discussion.
task achievement
You have shown a good understanding of both sides of the argument, which is important for this type of essay.
coherence cohesion
Your conclusion summarizes your main point well, which helps to reinforce your opinion.
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