The table below shows the number of visitors to ashdown museum duringthe year befor and year after it was refurbished. The charts show the result of surveys asking visitors how satisfied they were with their visit, during the same two periods.

The table below shows the number of visitors to ashdown museum duringthe year befor and year after it was refurbished. The charts show the result of surveys asking visitors how satisfied they were with their visit, during the same two periods.
IELTS Writing Task Chart for The table below shows the number of visitors to ashdown museum duringthe year befor and year after it was refurbished. The charts show the result of surveys asking visitors how satisfied they were with their visit, during the same two periods.
The table illustrates the number of tourists to the
museum
Use synonyms
ashdown
Check wording
apply
show examples
before
nad
Use the right word
and
show examples
after the renovation,
while
Linking Words
the chart
depict
Correct subject-verb agreement
depicts
show examples
the
feedback
Use synonyms
of
people
Use synonyms
who visited the
museum
Use synonyms
during and after the construction.
Overall
Linking Words
, the
people
Use synonyms
visited
Wrong verb form
visiting
show examples
Use synonyms
museum
Correct article usage
the museum
show examples
after the refurbishment
were
Verb problem
apply
show examples
increased significantly,
while
Linking Words
people
Use synonyms
gave more
positive
Punctuation problem
positive,
show examples
satisfied and very satisfied
surve
Correct your spelling
responses
after the development. The rate of dissatisfaction
were
Correct subject-verb agreement
was
show examples
more before the redevelopment.
According to
Linking Words
the table, the
people
Use synonyms
during the year before renovation was 74,000
and
Punctuation problem
, and
show examples
after the
refurbishment
Add a comma
refurbishment,
show examples
18,000 visitors
attracted
Verb problem
were attracted
show examples
more
Fix the agreement mistake
apply
show examples
to the
museum
Use synonyms
.
According to
Linking Words
the chart, the dissatisfaction and satisfaction
rate
Fix the agreement mistake
rates
show examples
were 40% and 30% respectively
before
Punctuation problem
, before
show examples
the redevelopment. There were 15%
people
Use synonyms
gave
Correct pronoun usage
who gave
show examples
very satisfied
feedback
Use synonyms
,
while
Linking Words
10% gave very dissatisfied
review
Fix the agreement mistake
reviews
show examples
,
5
Correct word choice
and 5
show examples
%
people
Use synonyms
did not
attempted
Verb problem
provide
show examples
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
feedback
Use synonyms
from the visitors. After the
redevelopment
Add a comma
redevelopment,
show examples
the
feedback
Use synonyms
was changed from tourists as
,
Punctuation problem
apply
show examples
very satisfied and satisfied
people
Use synonyms
were
Verb problem
apply
show examples
increased
with
Change preposition
by
show examples
35% and 40% respectively. No response percentage
was
Verb problem
apply
show examples
remained
same
Correct article usage
the same
show examples
,
while
Linking Words
dissatisfaction
were
Verb problem
apply
show examples
fell with 15%
people
Use synonyms
.

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site's author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Linking words: Don't use the same linking words: "according to, while".
Vocabulary: Replace the words museum, feedback, people with synonyms.
Vocabulary: Rephrase the word "number of" in your introduction.
Vocabulary: The word "chart" was used 2 times.
Vocabulary: The word "table" was used 2 times.
Vocabulary: The word "gave" was used 3 times.
Vocabulary: The word "increased" was used 2 times.
What to do next:
Look at other essays: