IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 7

The chart below shows the movement of people from rural to urban area

The chart below shows the movement of people from rural to urban area
The line graph above depicts the migration of people, which is mentioned in millions, from the countryside to the metropolitan area in the year 2000
until
Change preposition
to
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 2025. The graph included three groups of different nations, namely,
Iran
Use synonyms
,
Indonesia
Use synonyms
, and
Russia
Use synonyms
.
Overall
Linking Words
, there is an increase in all three groups from 2020 to 2025. From the start of the period,
while
Linking Words
Russia
Use synonyms
’s number was the highest,
Iran
Use synonyms
’s was the lowest among the three.
However
Linking Words
, by the end of the period,
Iran
Use synonyms
’s data witnessed an upward trend and surpassed
Indonesia
Use synonyms
 in 2006 and
surpassed
Verb problem
apply
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Russia
Use synonyms
 in 2020.
While
Linking Words
 both
Iran
Use synonyms
 and
Russia
Use synonyms
sky-rocketed
Use the right word
skyrocketed
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 over the years,
Indonesia
Use synonyms
 only experienced a gradual increase. In 2000,
Iran
Use synonyms
 had the lowest number of migrants, with nearly ten
million
Use synonyms
 people
Linking Words
while
Punctuation problem
, while
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Russia
Use synonyms
 had approximately 15
million
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 at the time, 1.5 times as many as
Iran
Use synonyms
. Even though
Russia
Use synonyms
 is predicted to continually surge to roughly 90
million
Use synonyms
 migrants by 2025,
Iran
Use synonyms
 exceeded
Russia
Use synonyms
 at about 95
million
Use synonyms
. Starting at 10
million
Use synonyms
,
Indonesia
Use synonyms
 didn’t experience any prominent changes but still grew moderately and is foretold to reach 30
million
Use synonyms
 in 2025, resulting in a 20
million
Use synonyms
 difference from the past.
Moreover
Linking Words
, Indonesian migrants were overtaken by
Iran
Use synonyms
 at around 18
million
Use synonyms
 people in 2006.

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Linking words: Don't use the same linking words: "while".
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Vocabulary: Replace the words iran, indonesia, russia, million with synonyms.
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Vocabulary: Rephrase the word "undefined" in your introduction.
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Vocabulary: The word "graph" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "increase" was used 2 times.
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