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Writing Samples
Band 7

Prevention is better than cure – researching and treating diseases is too costly so it would be better to invest in preventative measures. To what extent do you agree?

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Introduction
There is no denying the fact that
cure
Use synonyms
 is worse than Prevention. It is a commonly held belief that treating a disease is expensive , so it would be better to invest in preventative measures. There is
also
Linking Words
 an argument that opposes it. In my opinion, l totally agree that prevention is the right choice because it is easier to do a yearly checkup to treat early.
Body · 1
To begin
Linking Words
 with, prevention is better than a
cure
Use synonyms
.
In other words
Linking Words
, the person will spend less money trying to prevent it from progressing.
In addition
Linking Words
, we all should be well educated on how to stop diseases by taking herbal drugs and going to the gym every week.
For example
Linking Words
, in my daily routine, l have to eat two eggs a day and work out for almost one hour.
Body · 2
On one hand, treating diseases is not always an option all the time. It is possible to say that cancer can not be cured unless a person has luck on their side.
Moreover
Linking Words
, it is important to have preventative measures so we don't get to a point where we have to
cure
Use synonyms
 it.
For instance
Linking Words
, having hypertension is totally controlled by not stressing out , yelling all the time, eating healthy ,
such
Linking Words
 as fruits , and drinking smoothies.
Conclusion
In conclusion, despite people having different views, I believe that people can always prevent but can't always
cure
Use synonyms
.
Furthermore
Linking Words
, a person should have preventative measures in their life, starting from the age of 30 , and a lot of research has evidence for
this
Linking Words
 topic.

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task achievement
Make sure to clearly state your opinion and summarize it in your introduction and conclusion. Be clear about which side you are taking.
coherence and cohesion
Try to use more linking words to connect your ideas better, and make sure that each paragraph has a clear main idea.
task achievement
Provide more specific examples to support your thoughts, so that they clearly show your points. This will make your argument stronger.
task achievement
You express a clear opinion in your introduction and conclusion.
task achievement
You present some good ideas about prevention and treatment of diseases.
Topic Vocabulary:
  • proactive
  • preventive measures
  • lifestyle diseases
  • public health
  • healthcare expenditure
  • cost-effective
  • chronic conditions
  • early detection
  • immunization
  • health promotion
  • risk factors
  • non-communicable diseases
  • disease surveillance
  • preventive diagnostics
  • health literacy
  • universal healthcare
  • primary prevention
  • secondary prevention
  • tertiary prevention
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