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Writing Samples
Band 7.5

In some countries, very few young people are willing to do unpaid community service (for example, working for a charity, improving the neighborhood, or teaching sports to younger children). What problems might this cause? What do you think is the best way to solve these problems?

In a growing number of countries around the world, fewer and fewer teenagers are showing an interest in voluntary
work
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such
Linking Words
 as charity activities, improving their neighbourhoods, or helping the elderly.
This
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 trend may lead to serious consequences, including weakened social bonds and a lack of essential life
skills
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.
However
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, these issues can be addressed by educating young
people
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 about the benefits of volunteering and actively encouraging them to take part in
community
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 service. There are several problems that can arise when young
people
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 are unwilling to participate in voluntary activities.
Firstly
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, if the younger generation does not engage regularly in
community
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work
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, they may become increasingly isolated and disconnected from those around them, which can lead to a more individualistic and self-centred mindset.
This
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, in turn, contributes to a less cohesive society where
people
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 are less inclined to care for one another.
Secondly
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, volunteering plays a crucial role in helping young individuals develop practical
skills
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such
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 as communication, teamwork, and leadership
skills
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 that are difficult to teach in a classroom and are best learned through real-life experience. To address these problems, both schools and governments should take a more active role. Educational institutions could integrate volunteer
work
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 into their academic programs, offering incentives
such
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 as extra credit or certificates to encourage participation.
This
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 would not only motivate students but
also
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 help them build useful life
skills
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. At the same time, governments could run awareness campaigns to highlight the value of
community
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 service. Providing public recognition, awards, or even scholarships could
further
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 motivate teenagers to become more involved in charitable efforts. In conclusion,
although
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 the lack of youth participation in voluntary
work
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 may lead to weaker social connections and limited personal development, these challenges can be effectively solved through support from schools and government initiatives. By promoting the importance of
community
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 service and offering meaningful incentives, more young
people
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 can be encouraged to take part in building stronger and more compassionate communities.

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task achievement
Make sure each point is clearly supported by examples or explanations. Adding more details can make your ideas stronger.
coherence
Try to connect ideas better between paragraphs to make the flow smoother. Using linking words can help.
coherence
Ensure that all parts of your argument are as clear as possible so that the reader can easily follow your thoughts.
strength
Your introduction clearly states the topic and gives a good overview of the main points.
strength
You provide solutions in a practical way, showing a good understanding of how to encourage youth participation.

Your opinion

Don’t put your opinion unless you are asked to give it.

If the question asks what you think, you MUST give your opinion to get a good score.

Don’t leave your opinion until the conclusion.

Here are examples of instructions that require you to give your opinion:

...do you agree or disagree?...do you think...?...your opinion...?

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