In some countries, the average weight of children is increasing and their level of health and fitness is decreasing. What are the causes of these problems? What measures could be taken to solve them?

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Nowadays, many
children
suffer from high weight and a deterioration of their bodybuilding
as well as
their health from a global point of view. Never has the rate of obesity been as high as now.
This
essay believes the main is sues associated with that phenomenon are the higher consumption of fast
food
and the decrease in the practice of sports and suggests nutrition courses at school and the involvement of
parents
as the most viable
solutions
. The major causes of
this
surge in
children
's weight are undoubtedly related to the boom of manufactured
food
,filled with chemical substances.In
this
matter, easy access to affordable but toxic nourishment is a key feature to explain
this
occurrence. The other issue incriminated in obesity is the lack of practising physical exercise. In fact, a sedentary lifestyle has become in the
last
decade, a truth that the community can't ignore.It is crystal clear that youngsters prefer to watch sports competitions rather than moving for real.
Furthermore
,the development of video games and platforms for watching movies doesn't make things better.
For instance
, a young boy is likely to be absorbed by the daily soccer games broadcasted through television and as soon as it ends, video games or Netflix movies take over.
Solutions
to these worrying problems are adding specific classes at school to explain the benefits of sport and healthy
food
plus the involvement of
parents
in the diet and the lifestyle of their kids. indeed schooling is undoubtedly the cornerstone of education.Adding lessons to the curriculum would help pupils learn how to manage their diet which would certainly help in fighting
this
nuisance.
Moreover
,
parents
are
also
responsible for their
children
's health. Indeed,providing healthy
food
and advising their kids about practising sports is their duty.
For example
, doctors often talk to
parents
concerning their
children
's health because they know the influence these laters have on their youngsters. In conclusion, in spite of the increase in obesity and fitness issues for
children
, there are reliable
solutions
to go beyond these concerns. If the consumption of industrial
food
and sedentary are the main problems, diet education and the involvement of
parents
remain the most reliable
solutions
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coherence cohesion
Ensure each paragraph has a clear topic sentence and focus on one main idea to avoid confusion.
task achievement
Provide more examples or evidence to support the causes and solutions mentioned in the essay.
task achievement
The essay addresses both parts of the task, identifying causes and suggesting measures.
coherence cohesion
The introduction and conclusion are clear, outlining the main points and summarizing the discussion.
coherence cohesion
Ideas are well-organized with logical progression from one paragraph to another.

Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

Examples make your writing easier to understand by illustrating points more effectively.

Examples, if used properly, not only help you get higher marks for ‘Task Response’ but also for ‘Coherence’.

When giving examples it is best to put them after your main idea or topic sentence. They can be used in the middle of supporting sentences or they can be used to start a new sentence. There is no rule for where exactly to give examples in essays, logically they would come after your main idea/topic sentence or just after a supporting sentence.

Linking words for giving examples:

  • for example
  • for instance
  • to illustrate this
  • to give a clear example
  • such as
  • namely
  • to illustrate
  • take, for example

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