In some countries, the average weight of children is increasing and their level of health and fitness is decreasing. What are the causes of these problems? What measures could be taken to solve them?

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Nowadays, many

children

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suffer from high weight and a deterioration of their bodybuilding

as well as

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their health from a global point of view. Never has the rate of obesity been as high as now.

This

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essay believes the main is sues associated with that phenomenon are the higher consumption of fast

food

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and the decrease in the practice of sports and suggests nutrition courses at school and the involvement of

parents

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as the most viable

solutions

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. The major causes of

this

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surge in

children

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's weight are undoubtedly related to the boom of manufactured

food

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,filled with chemical substances.In

this

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matter, easy access to affordable but toxic nourishment is a key feature to explain

this

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occurrence. The other issue incriminated in obesity is the lack of practising physical exercise. In fact, a sedentary lifestyle has become in the

last

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decade, a truth that the community can't ignore.It is crystal clear that youngsters prefer to watch sports competitions rather than moving for real.

Furthermore

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,the development of video games and platforms for watching movies doesn't make things better.

For instance

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, a young boy is likely to be absorbed by the daily soccer games broadcasted through television and as soon as it ends, video games or Netflix movies take over.

Solutions

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to these worrying problems are adding specific classes at school to explain the benefits of sport and healthy

food

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plus the involvement of

parents

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in the diet and the lifestyle of their kids. indeed schooling is undoubtedly the cornerstone of education.Adding lessons to the curriculum would help pupils learn how to manage their diet which would certainly help in fighting

this

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nuisance.

Moreover

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parents

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are

also

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responsible for their

children

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's health. Indeed,providing healthy

food

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and advising their kids about practising sports is their duty.

For example

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, doctors often talk to

parents

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concerning their

children

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's health because they know the influence these laters have on their youngsters. In conclusion, in spite of the increase in obesity and fitness issues for

children

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, there are reliable

solutions

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to go beyond these concerns. If the consumption of industrial

food

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and sedentary are the main problems, diet education and the involvement of

parents

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remain the most reliable

solutions

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namoismaSat Nov 09 2024

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coherence cohesion

Ensure each paragraph has a clear topic sentence and focus on one main idea to avoid confusion.

task achievement

Provide more examples or evidence to support the causes and solutions mentioned in the essay.

task achievement

The essay addresses both parts of the task, identifying causes and suggesting measures.

coherence cohesion

The introduction and conclusion are clear, outlining the main points and summarizing the discussion.

coherence cohesion

Ideas are well-organized with logical progression from one paragraph to another.

Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

Examples make your writing easier to understand by illustrating points more effectively.

Examples, if used properly, not only help you get higher marks for ‘Task Response’ but also for ‘Coherence’.

When giving examples it is best to put them after your main idea or topic sentence. They can be used in the middle of supporting sentences or they can be used to start a new sentence. There is no rule for where exactly to give examples in essays, logically they would come after your main idea/topic sentence or just after a supporting sentence.

Linking words for giving examples:

for example
for instance
to illustrate this
to give a clear example
such as
namely
to illustrate
take, for example

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8
Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
4
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
0
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 7.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 9.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 7.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

5 paragraphs

360 words

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In some countries, the average weight of children is increasing and their level of health and fitness is decreasing. What are the causes of these problems? What measures could be taken to solve them?

Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

Some people think that some types of criminals should not go to prison. Instead, they should do unpaid work in the community. To what extent do you agree?

Music plays a vital role in our country. How much has music influenced the way we think today? What do you think is the key role of music in today's world?

Computers and AI technology are increasingly being used for online education. Can artificial intelligence enhance the learning experience? Is this a positive or negative development?

Some teachers think that international student exchange would be beneficial for all teenage school students. Do you think its advantages will outweigh the disadvantages?