In some cities public parks and open spaces are being changed into gardens where local residents can grow their own fruit and vegatables. Do the advantages outweigh the disadvantages?

Nowadays,
people
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in
metropolitans
Fix the agreement mistake
metropolitan
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are
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areas are
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trying to grow fresh vegetables in their kitchen
gardens
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. In many
cities
Add a comma
cities,
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public places,
such
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as
parks
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, open areas are being converted into
gardens
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, in order to
,
Punctuation problem
apply
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promote
this
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trend
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. From my viewpoint,
this
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is a positive
trend
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, which may have many advantages, and the reasons behind
this
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thought are elaborated in the following paragraphs.
To begin
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with, those who think that it is a negative
trend
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assert that more emphasis should be given
on
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to
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beautification
Correct article usage
the beautification
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of the
parks
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rather than their conversion into
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
kitchen
gardens
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. In fact,
people
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in the cities like to go
in
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to
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public
parks
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, because it is a perfect place for them to feel the
mother
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apply
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nature and relax.
Therefore
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, authorities must consider developing more
parks
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and open spaces, so that
urban
Correct article usage
the urban
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population
could
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can
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use
it
Correct pronoun usage
them
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regularly.
On the other hand
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, those who think that
this
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practise
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practice
show examples
is advantageous opine that it enables citizens to eat unadulterated
food
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. As a matter of fact, these days
vegetables
Punctuation problem
, vegetables
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and fruits are grown by using many insecticides and pesticides, which are causing many health issues. To illustrate,
according to
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a report, a number of diseases related to
stomach
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the stomach
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, allergies,
etc
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etc,
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are caused by the chemicals used
,
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apply
show examples
while
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growing
eatables
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food
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.
Hence
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, the kitchen
gardens
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offer a possible solution, which could
enables
Wrong verb form
enable
show examples
the population to eat healthy and unadulterated
food
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. Adding more to it, converting
parks
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and open land into
gardens
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could save local
council's
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councils
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and
people
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's money. Generally, the local governments spend a lot of funds on
maintainance
Correct your spelling
maintenance
of public places
,
Punctuation problem
apply
show examples
and spaces.
Moreover
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, locals
also
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spend money on buying fruits and vegetables.
However
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, if public
parks
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and open lands are converted into
gardens
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for growing
food
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stuff,
this
Linking Words
trend
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could possibly save money for both
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
parties. In conclusion, it is
fact
Correct article usage
a fact
show examples
that the urban population use
parks
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and open lands for relaxing
themselves
Correct pronoun usage
apply
show examples
, but at the same
time
Punctuation problem
time,
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these places provide an option to
people
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for growing healthy
food
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, and save funds for
people
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as well as
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for the authorities.

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task achievement
Include a clear thesis statement in the introduction. This helps guide the reader's understanding of your main argument.
coherence and cohesion
Ensure each paragraph contains a clear topic sentence that relates back to your main argument. This will improve the logical flow of your essay.
coherence and cohesion
Use transition words like 'however' and 'in addition' to connect points more smoothly. This helps the reader follow your ideas more easily.
task achievement
Provide more specific examples or statistics to support your points. This will strengthen your argument and make it more convincing.
structure
The introduction clearly states the topic and your viewpoint, setting a good tone for the essay.
content
You made relevant points about health and financial benefits, showing an understanding of the topic.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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