IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 6.5

Some people think the media should report all news, including bad news. Others think it is better to report only positive news. Discuss both views and give your opinion.

In today's
world
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,
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media
Correct article usage
the media
show examples
 plays an important role in our lives. Some
people
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 believe
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media
Correct article usage
the media
show examples
 should
report
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 all
news
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, including bad
news
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,
while
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 others think it should only
report
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 positive
news
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. Both views have good points, but I think a balance is best. On one hand, reporting all
news
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 is important because
people
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 have the right to know what is happening in the
world
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.
For example
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,
news
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 about natural disasters or health problems helps
people
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 stay safe and make good decisions. During the COVID-19 pandemic,
news
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 reports helped
people
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 understand how to protect themselves.
Also
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, reporting bad
news
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 about government problems can help make society better by pushing leaders to solve these issues.
On the other hand
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, reporting only positive
news
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 can be good for
people
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's mental health. Too much bad
news
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 can make
people
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 feel sad or worried.
For instance
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, constant reports about crimes or wars might make
people
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 afraid. Positive
news
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 about good things happening in communities can make
people
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 happier and more hopeful. Some
news
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 programs now focus on "good
news
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" stories, and many
people
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 enjoy watching them because they feel better afterwards.
However
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, I believe
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media
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the media
show examples
 should
report
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 both good and bad
news
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, but in a balanced way.
People
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 need to know about problems in the
world
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, but they
also
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 need positive stories to feel hopeful. The
media
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 should be careful not to
report
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 too much bad
news
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 that might scare
people
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, but they shouldn't hide important information either. A good example is weather reports - they tell
people
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 about dangerous storms but
also
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report
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 nice weather forecasts. In conclusion,
while
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 there are good reasons for both views, I think the best approach is for
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media
Correct article usage
the media
show examples
 to
report
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 all important
news
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while
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also
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 including positive stories.
This
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 way,
people
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 can stay informed and
also
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 feel good about their
world
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.

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task achievement
You used clear ideas and examples, which is great! Try to add even more examples to support your points better.
coherence and cohesion
Your essay flows well and ideas connect nicely. Just make sure each paragraph has a clear main point.
task achievement
Your introduction clearly states the topic and your opinion, which is a strong start!
task achievement
You provided a balanced view of both opinions, which shows good understanding of the topic.

Use a variety of complex and simple sentences

You should use complex sentences in your writing, but it does not mean that you should try to make all of our sentences complex.

‘Complex’ sentences are not actually very complex; they are just two or more simple sentences put together. Putting them together makes the essay more coherent and cohesive.

Examples:

I really want to study but I’m too tired.

I wore a warm coat because the weather was cold.

If action is not taken soon on climate change, global warming will get worse.

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