Some people believe that family is more important than friends. To what extent do you agree and disagree?

#people #friends

It has been significant debates about choosing between

friends

and family. In recent times choosing family over

friends

has created a major impact on society. In my opinion, family plays a very important role but they are

also

a strength of any person’s

life

. At

first,

there are

number

Change the article

a number

the number

show examples

of benefits associated with having family in comparison to

friends

. They provide us with mental and emotional strength whenever needed, and will stay with us in good and bad times.

For example

, parents or other close relatives sacrifice their happiness and in some cases their priorities in terms of giving a better

life

to their children.

Besides

they are the ones who care for us, love us and guide us to be better people in

life

Hence

, no doubt, we can live without

friends

but not without family.

Furthermore

, we can choose our

friends

but not family, they come and pass by

according to

situations.

In addition

, at some level, they can be a bad influence

Change preposition

show examples

our

life

. To exemplify, in our daily

life

, we can find numerous

friends

, who would always like to point out our bad things rather than encourage achievement. In these cases, family always stands with us and leads us to success by giving real advice. Family,

therefore

, not only support us mentally but

also

financially in hard times.

To sum up

, the family plays an irreplaceable part in every individual’s

life

. They stand with us in our emotional time, by giving care and love.

Thus

, family always outweighs

friends

at any time.

Submitted by jaimini2000 on Thu Dec 21 2023

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task achievement

Ensure that your argument is developed evenly. Minor grammatical errors and some undeveloped ideas appear throughout the text, making it seem somewhat rushed. Try to provide clearer topic sentences and further development of your ideas with more detailed illustrations and examples.

coherence cohesion

Work on constructing paragraphs with clear central ideas that are expanded through the use of examples or explanations. The essay lacks some coherence between ideas, and the transitions could be smoother. Pay attention to the logical flow of information and argument throughout the essay.

Use a variety of complex and simple sentences

You should use complex sentences in your writing, but it does not mean that you should try to make all of our sentences complex.

‘Complex’ sentences are not actually very complex; they are just two or more simple sentences put together. Putting them together makes the essay more coherent and cohesive.

Examples:

I really want to study but I’m too tired.

I wore a warm coat because the weather was cold.

If action is not taken soon on climate change, global warming will get worse.

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11Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
2Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
2Grammar mistakes
 

4 paragraphs

257 words

6.00

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 7.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 6.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 5.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

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Topic Vocabulary:

bond
support
unconditional love
shared values
mutual understanding
trust
emotional well-being
interdependence
societal norms
companionship
loyalty
advice
experiences
mentorship
trustworthy
reliable
reliable
cherish
strengthen
deepen
attach importance to
prioritize

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Some people believe that family is more important than friends. To what extent do you agree and disagree?

Use a variety of complex and simple sentences

In some countries, a few people earn extremely high salaries. Some people think that this is good for a country, while others believe that the government should control salaries and limit the amount people can earn. Discuss both views and give your opinion.

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Some think the current generation should take steps to protect the environment for the next generation. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

In many countries, children are becoming overweight and unhealthy. Some people think that the government have the responsibility to change the situation. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

The reason that most individuals are in debt is due to the overuse and irresponsible use of credit cards. Banks should not issue credit cards unless they are completely sure of an individual’s ability to pay back their debts. To what extent do you agree with this?